I was walking back to the fisherman's hut, feeling a vague sense of... disquiet... that I had to ... explain myself to certain people so that I could win them over, as though THEY mattered so much, and this guy, the one in the yellow Fiesta, drove up behind me, looking for all the world like the faggot I suspect him for. He parked his car at the beach, waited a few moments, then he drove off, after I gave him a stare.
Made me realise that the OSC really IS busy reading my posts,and also made me realise the other thing:- I had been fixated on butt-head's mother because I was acting out my feelings of guilt at having 'abondoned' my nephew by trying to make up for it where the fool is concerned, by sparing him.
Yet, when I was born, and my life was threatened from the word go, I lost all ... self... never had that bond with my mother that is said to be the strongest bond in life, so much so that when a man grows up, he seeks a .. replacement ... for it, which never actually makes up for the first one.
What God gave me, which is unique, was a part of Himself, and that part is my... soul... my presence... my voice... my shield against every other person and thing, that which made even the plans of the holy spirit... so experienced as he is in dealing with men [ordinary] that he can not understand why I, with all the clues he has laid down for me, should be able to do what I am just NOW doing... turning the tables and walking away.
Because, you see, butt-head's mom is NOT my sister, and to put it in the proper perspective, the first time she showed up was when I had written that i was taking matters into my own hands because I could not believe that affection for her daughter would stop me from killing the guy, as he deserved.
She drove past the day I wrote that post. Why? To try to distract me, offer herself on his behalf.
But, with what happened yesterday, I have firmed my resolve, because ONE thing is for certain; since I can not... bear ... any compromise, but that the party which wronged me MUST pay, then it goes without saying that butt-head dies, as well as those I had earmarked for death, simply because they continually... irritate me... by shoving their noses into my business. Which means, if she is NOT careful, the mother herself will die.
Let me tell you something about the... afterlife. jesus who is in a position to know, said that hell was created for the devil and his angels, the inference being that it was done by God Himself, and when he ascended to heaven and came back down, he said that now HE had the keys even of hell... which is not true though, because he was never granted dominion, because he is an interloper.
so, those who die, unless taken under his wing, die and go to hell.
Now, I think paradise was created as a hiding place for some of the more... righteous, (like Enoch) ones... by God, since He will not directly contradict His creation,[ but will always show when He is pleased by one acting out of the ordinary] as that would make the creation seem His equal.
The point to all this is: I am going to kill people, and they will go to hell, simply because I can not bear to have them carry on living and belittling everything I do, otherwise I would have to carry them around like a burden, on my back, every time.
The first thing that is... unacceptable... is for me trying to win over people to myself with words. If it comes to words, then I have already failed, so, with that in mind, I am now pointing out that I have left all the women I have been trying to convince to come over, and condemned them to death by my hands, as I promised, and I have selected these women to make the final three who would make up the 39.
1)This lady I wrote about as being the troubled woman who showed up at the cycle race on my birthday this year. Should be on my blogspot in COUNT1NG NUMB3R5 and what happened was that I actually challenged her, mentally, to make a fool of me publicly after I had given her a spot to sit. She kissed her... significant other, and she also had the kids, boys, kiss him, and when I noticed that, and the... interplay between them at that moment, I also belatedly realised that the kids, who should have been boisterous, had not, between them, uttered a single word, as long as they had been around me, and while I was slow to account for that, I also did not keep from noticing the fact that the woman, after she walked up Jubilee street to where she had parked her car, looked back at me as if reproachfully. Like I had eyes but would not see. That, for example, she had two kids, no ring, meaning the guy would not marry her, that she, beautiful as she was, was an... embarrasment to the guy, as I saw from his body language, and that she was calling out for help because it appeared she was doing everything she possibly could and yet getting no rest from it.
I just stared, stored everything inside, and turned it over, and over, again and again.
The second is the girl who was chewing her fingernails at the Bayside Restaurant, at Fish Hoek Beach, as I passed. At first I thought that she had had some devastating news, like that she was pregnant and the guy had said no way, or she was terminally ill and just found out about it, but it was something between the eyes, like a shadow, that made me 'see' that whatever was bothering her was NOT something that was recent, but something that had so modelled her way of life that it had become second nature, and maybe at that time she was too tired to bear it any longer.
As for the third, let me put a riddle to you.
Suppose that there is a Dobbermann, and now, it is a well known fact that a Dobbermann, will, [if you are a stranger at the premises it considers its own], attack at once, right?.
A well known way to... defuse... the situation is to take a piece of meat, if you are a robber, say, and, when it comes, throw the piece of meat at it then cower before the dog,lie face down with your arms protecting your head as if in abject terror, and THEN, the dog will come, piss all over you, and when it has so humiliated you, it will then walk over to the piece of meat, eat it, and either go to sleep or die depending in the nature of the poison, but even if the meat is not laced with poison, the robber can then walk up and do as he pleases, because the dog has dismissed him as a threat. Now, to whom this may apply, let it apply, although one should be aware that I will carry no one, everyone is responsible for his/her own... actions, and guilty thereby.
Sunday 16-12-2012
Disregard all the three, because I was acting all... noble, there when the only thing that matters to me as far as a woman is concerned is just how... sexy she is, and THEN, just how suitable she would be.
For that reason all the three women, including butt-head's mom, who was the third, are out of it. I realised that a long time ago, because, frankly, I had always wanted a woman who, kowing absolutely NOTHING about me, would want to go to bed with me, and would not hide it, and also, of course... hey lets face it, there ARE a lot of women out there and so, I do not think I would be honest with anyone if I said there will only be 39.
There is actually this one, a slim chick whom I met some time ago who works at this restaurant whose owner was once located at the Fuel Station, whom, when I was passing by joked about my untied shoelaces.
Saw her yesterday when I was walking with this other guy I knew from way back who was now o the street and who had come to spend a night in the relatively skollie-free Simonstown.
She is, of course, blond, and when I was passing she went tense, just as I did, because I was flooded with interest, and then, she stood in such a way it was impossible to just pass by.
So, lets call it pure lust, for me, and well, let this waiting be over.
Gather to me the women, Father, and lets, restructure this function.
pon bed pon floor against wall
we sex them up till the morning
we sex them up till the morning
and the girls them sugar them call me
welcome the king of the dance hall
welcome the king of the dance hall
