What he opens no one can shut

I was just about to get REALLY pissed off by what happened yesterday and asking myself just why the fuck I do not just call forth what everyone seems to think will never happen, and make everything go into a one way disaster for everyone else, when I recalled that for SOME reason the text found in Isaiah 22 : 17- 21 seemed to ... apply personally to me.
"Behold, YHWH will carry you away with a mighty captivity, and shall surely cover thee
18 He will violently toss you like a ball into a large country,there shall you die, and there the chariots of thy glory shall be the shame of thy lord's house
19And I will drive thee from thy station, and from thy state shall He pull thee down
20And it shall come to pass in that day, that I will call my servant Eliakim [ name meaning God rises] son of Hilkiah
20And I will clothe him with thy robe, and strengthen him with thy girdle, and i will commit thy government into his hand, and he shall be a father to the inhabitants of jerusalem, and to the house of judah
21 And the key of the house of david will I put on his shoulder, and what he opens, none shall shut, and what he shuts, none shall open.
Now,  what the fuck does THAT have to do with anything? Well, a lot, see, because this david was a... barrier breaker, see. God took him from "following the sheep" and made him a ruler over his house, and this same guy is the one whose unusual lifestyle made him realise that  he was a sheep and God was the sheep herder, Psalm 23, and if anyone has had anything to do with sheep then one will know that they are the worst kind of creatures to take care of, because even the slightest thing upsets them and they are so accident prone that they can literally be called suicidal. Yet God was ... with David... and though He did not covertly show Himself as with the prophets like elijah and such, and do great miracles with the guy, yet He stood by His word and the guy never was allowed to remain in people's hands, because God was jealous over him.
And whatever the man did, as long as he did not seek to put himself above God, he prospered, except when he took the life of a man whose wife he had stolen.It is through this same david that God prophesied [which makes me wonder about God being disappointed with people and looking for something, or someone who fulfilled everything He longed for] the famous Psalm 110 where david's lord was told to sit at YHWH's right hand till his enemies were his footstool, as God made them such, and where he swore and would NOT repent that the 'lord' was a priest forever after the order of melchizedek... and everyone knows that christ HAD to just make sure, just like with the donkey, that all this was ... him, even though God testified of HIM that he was the ONLY one who had come out of Him, meaning he was a rogue, a runaway, the abomination that makes desolate, because as soon as christ appeared, the people of israel lost God's light and never recovered.
THEN comes me, the one person who can never listen to what anyone else says, and never allows anyone, even God Himself, to take liberties with me. I had no idea what He had done to me at my birth, to 'keep' me from harm, and to keep me alive and whole despite the best efforts of people and myself, but it was only when I stopped fighting and decided that I was just going to have to live the extra 15 years that He had added to my life without me asking that I started having my eyes open. And i have been becoming even more... impossible... for people to put up with, and , well, what I determine as my... intent... gets done the way I want it, regardless of just how... unreasonable it may seem, because to me, if God wants me to live so much, i may as well do it the way I want to.
which is why i had decided that I would FIRST get for myself women, 27 of them, of which 21 were those that I did not have to choose but they chose me, sort of, and each of whom, i am confident, would give up everything for me, because, as i said, i know no other way than MY way, and i will NOT make any concessions for anyone.
yet, now, these that I thought were interested in me, and would understand that i am being candid when i told them that, there was NO OTHER way than MY way of doing things, these six, some of whose relations and nearest-and-dearest I will personally destroy, well, they are all waiting for me to drop the punchline so that they may conclude the joke, and laugh where appropriate.
but i joke not, and frankly, i have exhausted my patience with these silly women, and it is in my mnd to reject them all out of hand and just unveil the Maverick, the one God swore He would never repent making, and well, when that happens , then the idiots would know too late just how I was doing them a favour to begin with.
I have kept an open door, till now, but i am thinking twice about it, and once I shut it, then no one can open it, ever.

W hat is it with women that when you smile at one, or show your approval of one, she straightaway wants to show you an invoice of the many things she expects you to do for her, when MY beef with women, to begin with, is that I TRUST none of them?Silly whores!
THEY must put MY heart at ease, first, and humble themselves, and make me happy, and to hell with their expectations of me. They either want me, and NOTHING else but me, or whatever they want, they can not mix it with me.

Low down

Guess now the people,,who waited for the arrogant one to be humbled will be happy coz I just had my face literally stuffed with dirt when I went up the mountain & got entangled with the mountain ranger. Had 2 eat humble pie & come down with my bundle down the kloof. Did not help that coming from Fish Hoek i bumped into the David Matthews chick as she drove out from the seafood restaurant parking, with her hair tied like her sister. Sign of solidarity? Guess someone's sides are splitting with laughter. But i will carry on being me, even if ihave to slip up & down the mountain at night and dawn. Everything has an expiry date,see? Ah well,guess only God can really choose. I SUCK AT THIS. BIGTIME.

I like your style, your smile, your sexy profile...

 When one suddenly, irrefutably and undeniably KNOWS when things would be ..."copper set" for him, then

one can afford to let loose a little and live a little, see?Now, the past two nights I have just been pondering everything, and getting to grips with things, and I have found out one thing that I did NOT say, ever, and that is the one thing that God said I had a choice over. It took me figuring out just what it would take, or rather,  WHO was involved in that STOP DRINKING  vision, as well as the other things, to find out just what the whole shebang was about.
For one thing, there is ONLY one woman that came, tried to brow-beat me into accepting her, and then I ended up oggling her daughter's super-legs. She wanted me to come to church, and she even, at one time, tried to dress 'funky', but I have come to THIS point in my life, where I am so sick of every wile of women, and all I want is a woman who has been tried and tested for sure, one that I can ... trust. Because I have trust issues here, and who can blame me;- every woman out there  thinks she gets a free ticket to eternal life and I am an optional extra, and so, I am pissed off, see?
Now, the super-leggy chick, see, she will never win a beauty contest, but the ONLY reason I MAY take her, despite her super legs and that she decides to give up even her mother -for I WILL kill the zorro-like woman- would be that she is a virgin. If not, then I find myselkf unable to ... stomach... her extra mass. But since virgins are so few and far between, I suppose I would take her for myself if she fulfills the given conditions.
Now, since I am choosing for myself, five wqomen that I have... liked, I MUST say that there are five women, here, some that you have never heard of [and I have rejected  the red-head for her stunt, as well as the nicole kidman look-alike because she  was too... pat... and both, to be honest, are either too fleshy round the middle or too slim for my taste.] and these  have shown an indication that maybe they are interested in me, despite the ... odds against it.

Now, for me it is simple:- I will list them here, and if my... conditions... are too much for them, then I will leave without them, but THIS week, as I live and breathe, will not finish before I am unleashed, and so whoever hears this is free to do as they see fit, provided that I like them to begin with.
if the women say NO, as they are free to and as is their choice, then I will know that my ... choice... in women is not up to scratch, but since I hate having to have God have His own way without me putting my own two cents worth so I do not get too bitter with Him, I would love it if they could prove me right.
Now, the women that I can stand because they are drop dead gorgeous are these, and if they are not amenable to my... ways... thenh I will just walk away;
1)the rather more fleshy David Matthews chick. Now, technically, she is married, and so, is either very stupid or there is something else going on there I do not know about, because the LAST time I saw her, she stunned me, by, after walking past me, working her booty like there was an earthquake in her ass, just like I would expect from a schoolgirl. Well, I liked the show, but ... was she doing that for ME? aware as she is that her sister is going to die by my hand? is she the one who will 'sacrifice [her] world  to be with [me]' or is all this just one more hoax? because I loved everything about her, really. So, I am waiting to see.
2) the very attractive canadian based girl whose mother and vinnie go back a long way [by the way, I just could not work for the guy any more, so, instyead of being a sober man and waiting till the end of the day at least to quit, I saw the the contemporary art chick pull up and that was enbough for me to say "to hell with all this". Besides, vinnie was busy telling me that I ought to be more conscientious about work because that is whewre I get my meals from,and so, I decided that I would  revert to operatiing with 'the essence of survive'. Silly, yes, but then, I can NOT handle compromise, ever!] She may stick to her mom's skirts, or she will go all the way.
3) the smiling chick I met here at the Fish Hoek library. Now, there is a dancehall sonmg that goes,

I like your style
your smile,
your sexy profile
you drive me wild
so I can be your sunshine

And I liked the way she smiled, indeed, I liked ity a lot.
4)Therre is this lady who got butt-head's mom to do a 'me too' as she drove me to fish hoek in her RAV4, a blue one, and she is the 'chandelier woman' and i described her as ugly and intolewrable, just like butt-head's mom herself. Now, she has a friend, who has a house in kalk bay, and the said friend  saw me the day before the last day I ever worked with sydney -[and if ever there is anyone I am going to enjoy tearing apart it is sydney. I promised him a beating, but now I will have to go all the way to the extreme, and so, fucking hell, if you thought that I was NOT goping to be persecuting the weak and helpless and disturbing the peace, then you know nothing as yet, yessss!] and as we sat outside the olympia deli. She asked me if I wanted a coffee,and I said hellm yeah - and got my surpirise, because a few minutes later this very blond [she has shining white hair] chisk cxomes to the ebtrance and she yeall, "Prince darling, here is your coffee, I can not come out it is freezing", and so,, 'prince darling' had his coffee. Didn't end there;- last week, thinking nothing at all about all that, I happened to pass by the deli early morning, maybe to get myself my stuffing of pies at the restaurant near the train station, or to buy freads, and the woman, apron and all, was standing outside the place and the moment she saw me, her eyes widened, and she looked quickly aside, as if... ah well... I KNOW I am kinda notorious but THAT was uncalled for, unless of course the woman was jokingly serious when she did the darling bit, and I was to slow to pick up on it. But, I liked, anyway.

5)then there is the doughnut lady, with her silver RAV4. Now that the silly contempoarary aret chick is outta the picture, I can really say just how I... appreciated her sexy profile.

I am not interested in any more, not in this neck of the woods. I will take however many mange to make it, but I will NOT change my mind.
I am through for now. Expect chaos when I next makew myself known, yessss!

... before we get cross!

 The fact that God never ever bothers to... account for how He includes Himself in my life is the subject of many 'wonderings' as far as I am concerned

... Because I can not get past the, "OK God what the fuck are You doing around me, stage"
Apparently, He has made up His mind, and this is the same One that destroyed the earth once for 'man's sake' [yeah right, it had NOTHING to do with His own inclinations on the matter, right?] and never asked the man for his opinion, and He gave me the one thing I do not want, in fact, the opposite of what I would have prefered, which is, immortality, when I would rather be dead, see, and so, as far as I am concerned, He and I are 'uneasy' bedfellows, and assuming that there is concord between Him and I; that I act under Him, is, for anyone, great... folly.
like butthead's mom did repeatedly even till I blasted God, as He Himself had predicted, on Sunday 21 October last year, and she thought that was a joke, that somehow God was in control of the maverick.
I have concluded that the only way that God could be said to be in control is if one gets the broad picture that everyting that happens happens under Him, and not that He is somehow putting brakes on the ONE person whose outlook in life, if not ultimate goal, He approves. Fact that He interacts so directly with me is something personal, and something that no one else can share with, and, of course, while I HATE conceding THIS point, I suppose we are... united in one thing, a vehement dislike of women in control, of anything. EVER.
Yesterday, I...
Fuck, I was on the war path already to begin with, and wanted to let it all out, to blast everyone and blow holes in society, but then, soon as I got to kalk bay, I saw the chick with the glasses, and she was at the bakery -I had just dumped vinnie's stuff outside the seafood restaurant, decided I was NOT going to mind his stall while he had his outing, and, secure in the 'knowledge' that his younger brother abisha was on the way, went for three hours or more to wynberg, and came back only to find that women's day holiday apparently applied to abisha as well- and for a while, being so ebullient, I did not place her, but I only recognised her the moment I saw her dog as she was talking to this ... vendor, mwale. Then she walked to her home, and I found myself re-assesing my initial take on her the first time I had seen her and I had been on higher ground and been too wrapped up in other things to really 'see'; and I found that she was extremely attractive, indeed. the kind of person that one does not have to dig deep under the surface to appreciate. So, of course, just wondering WHY she was there, and what she was doing, made me go into some kind of 'suspended animation' but then, with me, going 'on hold', is not the same as changing my mind. It means I am looking, like a chameleon, both at God to see what the fuck He is up to, and then at the people to find out what is on their mind, and then, finally, I am likely to explode if there is no resolution to my crisis while I am still ... inclined... to be accommodating
As the song goes

them better move fast
before we get cross
bad man nuh care
tough for them just because...

Now, I have made up my mind that the ONLY way to grow is to confront the situations that have belittled me, and the first thing on the agenda, of course, is to face my mother and father, and so, as soon as people are... dying, I am going to make my way down to my 'home' and have a face-off with the two responsible for my being alive, and, if push comes to shoev and they STILL despise me, I will end their lives myself, but if they do not show me up as an insect, as they have always done, then they will just hear me pronounce my sentence on them, and they will go to hell, knowing that I, the son they BOTH said had no right to anything in life except to make sure they had THEIR pleasure, had decided that they are beneath my feet and should so remain -way UNDER me- for all eternity.

Everyone else of my 'family' is irrelevant, as far as i am concerned.
fuck, there are aeroplanes, and helicopters, and the question as far as I am concerned is:- how difficult can it be to fly one? Well I will find out, since I want this done a.s.a.p. . Then I will come, hunt down my cousin, and him I will kill with my own hands, and then work my wayb through all my foes, both male and female, till I am satisfied that NO ONE who trod on my toes remains alive, at least THIS side of the equator.
then I will work my way northwards.
but for now, while I am still... musing, my question is on these women that ... attracted... my attention, and which I can not put into any category, one that I MYSELF can define. Fuck what God says, these women are capable of their own thoughts and conclusions, and I am asking THEM what their fucking motives are, because I am about to start the engine, turn on the ignition, and I am so fucking tired of bitches thinking God is fighting their battles for them and thinking He restrains me that I am just likely to kill them along with the ones that I have put on my death list just for that presumption.. so, them really either better move fast, or I am going to stop hanging in midair and come down to earth, and the moment I do touch down, then hell itself will have nothing on me.


That I PROMISE!!!!

  ..

I never did like and i never will love fans

Them coulda never limit me...
 so listen me...

MY main aim is  to mantain

beyond 2005 stay alive jah jah we are fear
take care of the brethren
because the system design with...
my main aim is to stay sane
because I never did like and I never will love fans
So listen me
those who player hate and keep on dissing me
tell them say them can not stop the synergy

them coulda never limit me
matter how them mimic and gimmic me
tell them say them can not stop me energy
I'm giving them the trinity... 

I hate the fact that I write something and then something goes wrong, as usual, with me, on the computer and then everything that I have posted after the 'published' version disappears. So, I will adopt the method I had been using for a while now, which is to post and then update periodically before I finish the post.
Now, if someone had been paying attention and not sulking she would have figured out that there is more to... this ... than just her and things about her. I am speaking of the sister of the contemporary art chick, the... subject... of my yesterday posts, and well, this is about ME, and now you will see me, unmasked, yesss!
OK, so God controls thing with me, see, and He is in overall command because I have as much interest in life as a fish out of water can breathe. I am out of my depth in everything, and my first assumption at all times about anything is that everytime something happens, God has changed the game, or grown tired of being... responsible... for me. I for example, reasoned ... awry... that the reason why i ended up with vinnie was that God was trying to prevent me from doing the contemporary art chick harm, when in effect, as i discovered the day i went back to sleep on the mountain, He had meant for me to take time out to grieve, and to therefore,  by doing nothing but observe, just get to grips with the truth that the girl was interested in subverting me to her purposes, whatever they are.
that I WILL kill her, is of course, inevitable. Because, see, I have no reason NOT to, and THAT is usually enough for me to do something, simply because as things stand, i have no inhibition except it comes in the form of God Himself.
now, you see, I really do not care for people that are reading my posts for fun, but rather that those who read the posts be ... acceptable... women [in this case white chicks, unattached with no moustaches, please, or kids they want taken care of, or attitudes that they can do 'me' better than I can do 'me'(ALL those that did that I will kill personally)] whose reason in persisting or pestering me is that they want me for the obvious, physical reasons.
because, as I said, i am homicidal, and i have as much tolerance for people's folly as an aeroplane blade has clearance in the turbine;- which is something like less than a hair's breadth.
Fuck, God ... let me learn to fight, and I am NOT going to waste that and act like i am not chaffed that some fools walk all over me and I just look to God to see whether He will say that I deserved it, or He will let me do as i feel like doing, and that is to tear them apart and leave them just bloody pulps, and THEN, because they would be an eyesore, send the remains, and soul, to hell, yesss!Well, guess I will do just that, because it is either I do that, or I let my mother remain alive, irking me because I had made up my mind she would enjoy nothing of my labour, and since God has not said no, but rather seemed to be guiding me to the point where i got to say that I would hate it if she was even aware of my... rise, and so, she has to die, and if she goes to hell, so be it, I would lose no sleep over it.... I am ... INCAPABLE... of remorse, which makes the statements like "never send to know for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for you" quite spurious indeed.
So, I am interested in getting for myself women, and filling my quota of the women, the 67 i said i would have, and then destroying the rest and then leaving because no one gave me rest in this place; everyone has been contentious,and all the women that have even come under my scrutiny and been acceptable as the twenty-one, hey, even they have not seen fit to do anything else except show how they feared me and were willing to leave everything if I was... lifted up... and it never occurred to them that I was flesh and blood like them, they were too self-centred, which is very depressing indeed.
Anyway, if nothing changes for me, I am calling it quits today, and calling on my voice and sending people to hell except for the assholes that have made me determined to kill them myself, and these I will kill personally, and indeed, I have determined that I will work out my own way to germany and holland to get the two women, and then from there to the US, and kill obama, and settle there while , I make my own means of transport to go off-planet, and take holidays to see if there exist women who are not as selfish as those i have encountered, and till I find these, I will not leave.because I know that a single practical... example... alive and kicking, is better than a million words, because in most cases actions speak louder than words.
and so, till I find the woman that gives my boiling heart... rest... I am not so sure that even these, the ten who bear the ... minimum... requirements/standard for acceptability would be safe from my anger, and I do not  want to have women that I would have to kill later.
then, of course, there are the rest of them, that were not so obvious, but spoke with me freely at times but knew the cut-off point and could not help seeing that I have the kind of tolerance i spoke of earlier, and did not  require that I speak for them to... simmer down.
NOW though...
there are the five girls that came my way; the redhead, the nicole kidman look-alike, the canadian-based girl whose mother has a gallery in kalk bay [if vinnie KNEW what i was doing (apparently she is important to him ecause she helps him out, the mother that is) on my blogspot he would explode, but hey, i did not call her into my path]the smiling girl at fish hoek library, and [if I do not count the blond st-peters girl, not that she does not count but she ... eh... is NOT... at least used to playing games with men, which should show you just how... pissed off i am already, with them girls. ALL of them] the david matthews blond, whose... unattachement... is in serious doubt, which means I am most likely to kill her as well, and spoil my math anyway.

 I have become something of an oddity in kalk bay, and frankly i am tired of the whole thing, but I am not stupid enough to assume that I can whistle for rest and it will come to me. I am angry, because I never asked for this, and every day I bleed my rage and grief for every step I take, and the good thing, though, as far as i am concerned, is that for some reason I have been getting better, though angrier. All i need are some leg splits once in a while, and i will settle once and for all, to myself and any who seek to dispute it, the question of just who is the best fighter and killer in the world. It would not do for me to brag and brag and brag and never do anything about it. So, i have to do it, and since every theory is only as good as its proof, I am going to have to show just what the fuck I can do. Which reminds me of another sean paul song, with dmx and di doom (mr vegas). 
I will load it down here

DMX... 
 dont look at me like that
we just might fight back
in a fight, it might end up with me 
taking your life pal
I dont go for the balls just because I'been down
time is just too important
to be fucking around
tough nigga
i stuff a mudhole to your face
motherfucker
i rip your butt-hole out of place
clap a Glock to your head
get off about two in it
yeah its a dirty job but i just love doing it
here comes the boom

(sean paul)
so make them know we got a shooting gallery
killing is fun and we no need no ...
pull up the armour so nobody nuh follow we
and we no owe no apology
 DI DOOM/Sean paul

enjoy the killing time...
Shot hotter than pepper mr clever and me glock  are gonna speak for me crew...
 

these are FYI the guns famously known as glocks, and I am saying it in this case not because I am in favour of weapons, but because of the song itself, see. I like up close and personal, and bare hands, never mind what the opposition is using! YESSS 

Hear the growl of dmx as the song starts? hell, yeah, I am that fucking pissed off by everything, and I am going to... enjoy... letting off steam, as i deal with these silly fools and everyone else who stands in my way.... yesssssss!

I am more like the black guy below... but, as king julian ,in madagascar II escape to africa, said when he was speaking of what he wanted to do if he had only two days to live... "and get like... even better, and make my living out of it"

Fuck only a fool is not afraid of me. I want to find such fools and ....GRRRRRRRRRRRR!

OOOPS i did it again

BUT "at least this much is true" as the song goes. Now, i was ...forcing myself to ...act before this girl and her mother took off for Zim (guess this is where the STOP DRINKING thing comes from) bt then i am the guy God called THE MAVERICK, from the guy who refused to brand his cattle, so i... refuse to do for a woman what she can do for herself. If this girl wants a part of my life, she chooses for herself.As for me, guess vinnie won: i am going after all to this church thing. Maybe time with God will loosen things for me. So, no pressure on me,but on the girls themselves, same goes for the delicious looking David Matthews chick. So back on mnday

You dont have to say...

...what you did/ I already know /.... These lyrics from the song "Cry me a river" greeted me as i came down the mountain this morning, and Idid not want to acknowledge them before but now that no one is likely to read my posts, at least one i want to ... read... unless, which is something i strongly suspect to be highly likely since it appears that these people stay... nearby,(and, to... spice it up, if the painter chick is my ...paula as inthe vision, then the STOP DRINKNG vision applies to her and her... mother, but then, the only person likely to beleve THAT would be one that believes I am stronger than an ordinary human am indestructible and am going to destroy lives by using a mere word, mostly. Now,what kind of IDIOT in this ... enlightened world would accept THAT?) they do NOT see me going up tonight,which is very likely to happen since I have some... work:- an order that must be sent 2moro if vinnie is to be believed (personally i suspect he wants me @ hand for this 3day church outing where he would like me to be... corrected)- but then, as sean paul sang in "Trinity" 'I never did like and i never did want fans' ; what i want are MY women:- everyone else can go to hell as fat asI am concerned, it matters none to me. At this moment, as I explained in my earlier post, my lecherous eye is om the David Matthews blond, and as 50 cent sang:- 'I am into having sex I aint into making love...' because if I have to... make... it, then the essence of desire that should emanate, radiate and seep out of every pore of the woman and make me go "hey you girl inna de tight up blouse, everytime you pass me you get me aroused" because of cause, if she don't wanna get laid, what the hell would she be attracting the attention of a homicidal maniac like me for? I would end up suspecting ulterior motives, and THOSE, whichever they are, are LETHAL for the... owner. And, like cyclops of x-men said in the cartoon " I do not apologise for command decisions" meaning whoso dies because she wasted my time... deserves it, and those that die because they are... collateral damage, like i have decided that only my shithead of a cousin out of all my 'diaspora' relations, and HIM and immediate dependants only will,with the other black people i have... selected... for helping me out(would be innapropriate for me to... kill the fool since the reason why abisha andz later, vinnie, helped me out as that justin was my cousin and his friend) , well, they die. I have no regrets. And the king of the earth is NEVER desperate. How many times have been I in desperate stuations and just breezed through. Fuck, I do not have to take anyone's crap. But, come rain,hell,highwater or thunder I am going to PERSONALLY TAKE CARE of the assholes in the S/ town osc. Yessssss!!!!!!

The daughters of men were ... fair?

I was still busy with my last post when abisha walked into the workshop and asked me to go tend the... stall a bit... while he attended to SOB (some other business). Despite my... misgivings... i went, and sat down, finishing someone else's order while i waited. It did not help that the subject of my last post; the David Matthews blond, was at that moment busy issuing instructions to some xhosa guys outside the olympia bakery, or that the contemporary art chick had parked her SUV where the only way i could fail to see it was if i didn't SEE to begin with. I gritted my teeth, convinced that these women would see me as someone desperate, and at the same time wondered just WTF God was playing at NOW throwing me into such situations rife with... controversy. Of course i am afraidof no one.and of no 'many', but i AM afraid of humiliation, as i am a person who has no... defence... against that; like a child that was never immunised,against certain killer diseases in their weakened state has no antibodies to innure him to the full-strength disease when it attacks. I hate being trod on so much that whoever does it, whenever, earns my undying hatred, as I always try NOT to fool around but to be blunt andto the point about things, something that apparently no one seems to... favour. Anyway, I sat down, I said, and his xhosa chick comes, sits next to me and, outta the blue, we start talking about her work conditions inside the olympia deli and the strictness of the bosses, and how it is all so... bad to be treated like dogs. She tells me her life plans, and I find myself thinking she is such a sweet kid and i feel like a monster for being on the verge of destroying her, and her livelihood, and i... pause, and i am puzzled at the same time because she mentions things about the one and only time we met as i did a key-ring in the shape of her first name's initial capital letter, andhow later she refused to give Abisha her phone number but seemed quite comfortable around me, so much so that today i got to see something more than just a girl from a people responsible for killing off and harrasing my people. Of course, FIRST thing i asked myself was what the fuck do i have to DO to get out of here, and my conclusion is STILL the same:- people MUST die, but THIS was such a... nice- and attractive- girl i didn't have the heart to toss her to the dogs. I wanted her... for myself. So, i intend to take her mmmmmh! Now, that means that ... ah, fuck, who am i kidding? The fact that her hair IS as stiff as mine, and like mine would never sway in the wind unless by a chemically induced engineering method, and i do SO hate pretending, especially in women, that i would be pissed off with her in no time at all. Besides, my default setting is Genesis and if the "sons of God saw that the daughters of men were fair" then I obviously want to find out if "fair" means complection ONLY, COMPLECTION AND BEHAVIOUR, or behaviour. IF one's behaviour is " FAIR" then one is like an "equal opportunity" employer, whose door's open to anyone who comes. Which should mean that there is no... discrimination. Well, in THIS case i am in favour of discrimination and would prefer a woman who was ONLY fair in complection and a closed door to anyone else but me. OK THEN, CLOSED TO EVERYONE ELSE FROM THE TIME WE... MET since i... verily do NOT THINK virgins exist much in this world. anyway, I saw the david matthews blond, up close, and she walked right past me and we had eye contact everything, but as she was speaking on her phone telling someone to clean up something "for... us?!" and she seemed so .... cool about it, i was at a loss in trying to figure her out. Itdid not help to think that she probably got on the phone so as to be able to plausibly walk past me- I seem to be terrifying people around the place,ANOTHER reason why I want out a.s.a.p - because she could just be... terrified. But JESUS H. CHRIST!!chick has an ass on her forsooth!! Mmmmmm. Anyway, i guess i will have to... just leave, since for some reason NO ONE is reading my posts. Maybe evryone thinks they are already dead since i went and slept on the mountain... but fuck! Do people give up that easy?

Enter by the gate

OK, so, i finally figured out, after having come off GLS(God-life-support) that He had engineered things so I could have some time to grieve and... cover myself... or get over the silly woman and her foolish ways. Of course the fact that she dies is as plain as a baboon's bare ass, but because i do not have the... mental equipment... to physically harm someone unless i despise myself first, i therefore can not do it myself, since i have developd a healthy dose of ... self esteem. Pity,that, because i wanted to strangle michelle pereira myself, but i guess she will just have to ... die.AND GO TO HELL. FOREVER. YESSSS! My... point, though, is that for some weird reason, even after reading my posts and, at times, seeing me in action, some idiots have assumed that there is something so... special... about themselves, to me that i would somehow NOT BE MYSELF when it came to them, and i would let them walk all over me But the MAVERICK makes no exceptions for anyone. Which means that, for me the ONLY way any woman can get near me is that she have caught my eye, expressed an... interest ... in me HERSELF and NOT because she has a child she wants taken care of, or she thinks that her own interpretation of what i Should be doing is better than my own view... because to me THAT negates the basic tenets of God's burden on real women:- NEVERTHELESS your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you so, if a woman does NOT humble herself and sort of... wait on me to discover my will, and thus respect my invisible boundaries... she 'desires' to rule over me, and, as pinchers said "you should never diss the champion" and shewould be dissing me since i bend down forno one. Reason i am saying this is that i, as a BLACK man, was rather... taken aback... when I saw the art chick's "sister"-eh i ain't sure about THAT- with a xhosa guy fro the david matthews firm and she was instructing the poor foolon what she wanted done, but,as everyone who has seen the arseholes work, without proper equipment, will testify, the guys are being abused. So, though i hate every such xhosa idiot, i felt for them. Till i saw her walk to her car, and figured out that she only had to humble herself to ONE person, and not be fair. Now, my... question is, did what i saw signify something deep, or was it all just superficial? Because i am burning to put an endd to my.. unlovely life. And curiousity is beginning to gall my throat. I am tired, i want to just ease my pain a bit

LIKE THE GIRLS THAT WE WANNA

Song goes "money changes things/ Like the girls that we wanna" and I guess that i was sooo pisssed off at this art chick and finding her attractive at the same time, and yet getting progressively more irritated at her, and then came the sister thing, and frankly, i would take the humble sister any day, as compared to her.Since "lightning dont strike the same place twice" and since my... rejects... unfortunately... DIE... guess i am laying it all on the 'sister's' shoulders, as to whether SHE will play Vidkun Quisling and... you see? Because this afternoon, as i went to get some coffee, at the olympia, i bumped into vinnie with this blond chick with her white poodle, and- i think- a coloured guy, told him where i was going, and as i waited for the cups of coffee, said chick came into the shop,and said her dog was refusing to get out- dog seemed quite placid to me, but then I am not a dog person -and, frankly i found her quite attractive with her sharp nose and despite the glasses, but, as usual, there was, and IS a phase difference between my conscious mind and my despair-laden-mega processor,and I was wondering at thattime just how many women i WAS supposed to... leave with, and i wondered just what kind of DISAPPOINTMENT God was serving for me. Went back to the workshop and had by the time put the girl out of my mind. Vinnie wasnt there and we only talked about the girl with her BA from canada when he wanted me, the internet buff, to google her and he gave me her name,and apparently she has to be in Zimbabwe by the weekend. Mmmmm, not if the MAVERICK has anything to do with it!

Money changes things

GOD pitched up when i was worried about my mother, and His stance; His outlook as far as my mom, like how He confirmed she did not love me, and His insistence on bringing to my attention all these... details so that i did not forget how much she hated me for her son's sake, and tried to kill me and that not once but many times, stripped me of my reticence to take charge of my life, and so i obstinately refused to either be slavishly affectionate to her - or God - or be her enemy - or His. I sought a way out, which is why i ended up impossibly hiv +ve and alive after ishould be dead and surviving by the 'bare essence' of life, as it seemed impossible for me to ever progress in life or die. The deadlock was broken by the ten women, and the... currently... most notable one was the petite blond chick who, when i flared up as i waited for the F/hoek library to open and this short-haired mother was grating on my nerves bytrying to be a... man...spoke so softly and soothingly to her mother and then walked out. Now i am, to those with eyes, easy to read, and when i looked at her,as she turned from facing me directly to facing the doorway, i was wondering whether

she , who also had a child with her, was trying to push the brat onto some idiot and whether she felt i was that idiot- remember i had just had such an attempt on me by michelle, someone i am looking for an excuse to strangle personally, if i can but FIND one. Girl walked out without even calling the boy, or even grabbing the child's hand, which, in retrospect shows that.it was the BOY who stuck like a leech, not the mother, and i was... pleased. A mother without the erratic illogical fixation that my own had har, and michelle has, and even butt-head's mom has! Goooooodd! So she would not mind much if i ... killed the boy. Later, i was to see allison's replacement- bythe way, allison was in kalk bay the same day i went to F/hoek and she was on the passenger seat of th Cressida she always drove, and i have since concluded that i was wrong about the guy being her twin, since the more obvious answer seems to apply, and there IS something about her that i never... liked ,maybe she was trying to juggle two sets of..balls ... in the air and there is nothing i hate more than a woman that tries to be... in control, and i mean that literally, having sufffered for it- and HER lackadaisy approach to HER kids was even more impressive. I liked. So, if the art chick HAS a child, which i know nothing of and do not want to know of, then she knows what to do if she Really wants to get in my good books.

What- or WHO-I want

If it had not been for the fact that when i got so seriously pissed THIS past time i went under GOD- life support,as i termed it, I would be at this moment singing a eulogy for the blond art chick. And the silly fool has no idea, and has had no idea, all this time that the moment i am... unleashed... then, if she has not... changed, she dies. I was figuring out that ... contentious... vision, and, funny thing, when i met, in REAL LIFE (RL) the colouerd chick nicky, i was aware that she was involved with this malawian guy, and i knew that paula had a boyfriend, but i did not know that both girls were staying with-and had been for the fourmonths since i had gone away from capricorn- these AT their mother's premises.FUNNY THAT,because what i said about the... 'sister' ... was purely a shot in the dark, and i had no idea that she... . Well, thing is two days ago, when the dau before i had seen the art girl cycle past - maybe to show me that she was seeking alternative modes of motion that did not piss me off , as though THAT was the point - and i had then gone to fish hoek and NOT to the internet, and pointedly ignored her as she showed up noisily when her ... 'sister'... also appeared with this David Matthews painter guy and did nothind when the same sister then walked to the parking area behind the seafood restaurant,paused,and then got in (and the hatchback was a David Matthews company car,with the logo and all that all over it)and deliberately raised her left hand, tentatively even, and showed me her wedding ring. I was already more than half sure by then- something about the way she had walked to the car- and i knew as soon as she showed me her ring before driving away, that she at least had no trouble with understanding that it was not walking past me, being petulant or excitable, that impressed me, but a sober acceptance of the fact that as she was she was totally unacceptable to me, but that everything depended on my mood and my acceptance of her humility. Though i like her...younger sister... I would kill her in an instant if she came anywhere near me with her atention- grabbing ways,because i can NOT stand someone who blinds herself to the truth of things and does not accept the fact that SHE is what is spoiling my day. Coz i am in two minds about her, and, of course, BOTH sisters had better be estranged from their.. husbands, or i will be very unhappy. Very very unhappy. Because any other way would make it impossible for me to be able to accept them and their ways as well as accept the ... standard bearing ten that are the ' ten million dollars' that set the tone for ...acceptability. of course, then there are the facts that even the Dutch girl and the employment chick are going to have to lose their.. fellow-country people, except maybe for immediate female family that is above 9 since every dutch and english person,evev irish or whatever, will die, wherever. Same as here where only immediate female family will survive to go to europe, while the only black peolple from this country will be this zulu guy, vinnie and family and those such as are close to him,as well as abisha, and my stupid cousin, his sister and such as i know of my family thatare here. The rest die. These that live will be safe as long as they remain, for the duration of my stay on earth, within the boundaries of Zimbabwe, and as long as the treatment given my immediate family is sterling. Tsvangirai dies as well as his followers, because i hate their policies, and the silly deal called politics. Atleast with no white people around there will be no food shortages, and Zibabwe will be the ONLY country in the world that will have animals and whatever remaing, everywhere else will have my choice of creatures. Whatever remains after i leave will be in the hands of the remainder. If, however there IS sex after i go i would be very surprised, and if there ARE deaths after i leave i would have failed, because i am determined that, as i was a born a day after my mother in the calendar year, then i would die as well if she dies.So i have to find a way around that, see? Then leave.

GOING CRITICAL

The way things are going do not blame me if i do something catastrophic here and/ or now, because,as usual some silly fools are all leaving it up to me to decide their futures,when in fact.... .Ok,let me put it this way:-Before today, I went on what would amount to a sabbatical,and even when i had both time,opportunity and ...ah ..NO REASON TO... i did not go on the internet, for the reason that i did not have anything to say,and,of course, somebody had... seen me and decided he could better organise my life,andd so,because i am literally INCAPABLE OF LOOKING AFTER MYSELF i just froze and let vinnie re-arrange things. Then last night, him and this zulu painter 'partner' and fellow christian decided to try to have me stay somewhere better since iwas sleeping in the garage whichis used as the workshop,so when they said they could pay for my accomodation in Site 5 or Capricorn,and i had by then grasped that the fundamental difference (nay, the reason why i have a helper AT ALL) is the fact that i am as capable of being responsiblefor myself or another as a new born. AND that i never have been able to ' hold my own' against any of the situations in life that others seem capable of... well, I told him not to bother, i would go back to the mountain. The young man whose house it was seemed more than a little... unhappy that someone as....see-though as myself... who re-acted obviously to the casual, patronising way he adddressed someone that i regarded as being a... father figure... should be on the premises, showing my.... judgemental attitude - and so,i knew thattonight would be my... last night at this place. Which means that, being an intense person who takes disappointments so...hard... my going back to the mountain signifies my...judgement on ... things, and i would be surprised if i ...waited... for anyone to make up her mind, since i would be issuing instructions so that i go from ground zero to a... lofty place. That means, as far as i am concerned, 21 FEMALES currently in the dark about things. As for the rest,well, i have TOLD them repeatedly that the power is in their hands, but they think i lie, so,well, they will have to bear their own fruits. I can not, so tomorrow after ' work' i xexpect to ',speak' and show who the king is.

IMMUTABLE

I stand by the women i... chose, but the ... ONLY ... change is that every American will die, and i will go to an empty continent, and if ANYONE lays a hand on any of my family, then ...Rumble will inform me and they will go to a hell before they even have a chance to either do or say any harmful thing about any of my relations, who themselves will have a boundary so they do not interfere with my european activities, or i will destroy them also.

practise what you preach

LOVE & EDUCATION DO NOT MIX..... Since i do not have to worry about strangling people NOW it means i can comfortably ignore allisonand leave her to her death, since i have a woman that even now, unknowingly,replaces her... which IS a good thing on one side, but bad in the sense that NOW i have to, to avoid having my balls pullled by these women; spare their relatives that may be older than my female lower limit, which means that the st-peters mom will get a ticket to some european country and NOT have to die if her daughter comes with me- although she herself is NOT ACCEPTABLE TO ME...which probably means, with my mom and all these other moms watching, i will NOT have the luxury of carrying on with my libidinous search... you know how it is, but will have to contnent myself with the ... teaching... side of my work and thus i will, apparently, be totally limited to the US and to the number of women i depart with, who may be 25 or 27 as it turns out since i am NOT so sure that two sisters may want to ... share me. So why the age limit then? Well, so that those that decide they want something to do with me will come to me on their own, since i am not so good at... caring... enough to bother about sommeone else's affairs of the heart:- WANT SOME,COME GET SOME....unless i want u dead anyway....

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother

Mmmm Got an ARCHOS 101 tablet to play with, WITH wi-fi and a place 2 stay & a job offer + a chance 2 unravel some big mysteries & also 2 see where my heart is at And THAT took SOME doing. CANT KILL MY folks ever, BUT cant let them share in my world, so, I will leave them blind and deaf in Zim, electronically,when I have all of the UNIMPORTANT bits of the world destroyed... eh...BEFORE I deal with my enemiesb like michelle and those other assholes. But, if i personally kill these bitches and assholes, i would have 2 kill everyone that has pissed me off, so, gI will... employ Rumble to justhave the repugnant assholes sent straight to eternal hell:- the ONLY assholes I will kill; the rest of you all if NOT blacks found ONLY in Zim, would have to be the remnant of whites left in Europe,and as such would, if not among the women I pick for my own when I leave, have to be left to die out in your own time, as WHITE females ONLY, of course, whenever you so die. But, that is the bad news;- the good news isthatI was wrong.a.lot.of.things, not least of which is that 'recess' project vision, because i only found OUT the hidden meaning AFTER my Darth Vader post where it had taken God's restraint to get me to STOP following a thought pattern that would have seen me KILL the contemporary art chick, though she is probably NOT that guilty. She was being depicted as Anakin Skywalker's pregnant girlfriend who was SAID to have been killed BY the rage of the unnrestrained soon-to-be Dark Lord, [hence the pregnancy] as well as nicky? THE COLOURED chick who was living with a guy called David (man after God's heart;-meaning mangashioned as God saw fit) when i started ogling her sister.. And that is basically what happened, because she does have a sister, who is NOT bad looking who pitched up some few days ago instructing these David Mwatthews painters,generally ignoring me, till the day both SHE and her younger sister showed up similarly attired, but Not in boots but in flat shoes. Which would tend, to an ego like mine, to suggest I was being told there was something there between the sisters as if i did not KNOW that. BUT, SEE i had NO intention of getting involved with BOTH of them since i would NOT have to do anything disrespectable as my mother would have been dealt with. Clearly, though, God had other plans, because He First told me that I could not mix love and education...yeah, that song i took to mean nicky? meant me, and since I am supposed to show my mother - DAMN- just how wrong she was to be...proud... to be a mom, & thus "turn the hearts of the children to the fathers" and vice-versa, I WILL have to spare her and males, especially the ones that havebeen helping me so much in the past two days;- abisha & vincent ...which means even allowing the asshole justin to live; then there have to BE males to spare, but NOT where i am at, which means there WILL NOT be the silence... then i can be as ... naughty as i want to be, and take two sisters, if they both so wish... FUCK, i HATE gratitude... I am so HUNGRY even now, and wish i could be free of these chains, because being me will be impossible unless i am NOT so shackled. Fuck!

"... and hearing you will hear but not understand. Make thehearts of this people calloused..."

When I saw the movie Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith I never thought I would get to... resonate with the anger of the dark Lord Darth Vader as he literally crumbled his first suit of armour when he was told his rage had destroyed his wife and unborn 'child', but yesterday, I found myself so much in the grip of such devastating and ... bleak... rage that I was not surprised that I founf myself in instant 'God life support' and since yesterday I have not been 'in control' of the situation.I was part way through a re-reading of the Belgariad Book; Magician's Gambit, and had gotten to the part where the future king first used his latent power to cause a stillborn horse to live, when it somehow just... upset... me and i left and went to kalk bay, and, since I had been told there would be some ... work... for me if i wanted it, I decided to go to my cousin's 'friend', Abisha, and his elder brother, vincent, who ave their market outside this restaurant beside the olympia deli, where most of my recent... adventures have been taking place. There was not musch to do since abisha was waiting for his brother to come back with some wire, and I spent some time just enjoying the scenery, and that was when the contemporary art chick decided to walk past, going to kalk bay harbour, presumably, and i could sense the ... relief pouring out of her, that I had said that I was not in the mind to... kill... either her or allison.
i was wandering about the horse story, and I was trying to put things into perspective, when she came back, walking and talking with this guy, and she was so... relaxed and carefree I wondered if she would always so... overlook me.
And the rage started building up.
and if i had slept in the mountains as usual she would be back on my list of the soon-to-be-dead, but first, I reasoned that I could take only the twenty-five and kill everyone else, and just wait out my time, but then, i have NOT changed that much, in fact I have not changed at all, and i knew I would never do anything simply to prove myself right, but rather if there was something I could gain from it, and so, the prospect of getting more... acceptable... women made me re-think, and decide that, OK, maybe I would take the 25, go to the US and then get more after wards, but leaving the art chick was out of the question, because I had to deal with her, one way or the other.
Ok, so I do NOT kill people, but then, letting michelle, butt-head, faggot face or nicky? or even butt-head's mother just ... die... after repeatedly irritating me was also OUT of the question, and once I kill anyone, I would have to kill everyone, and so, then I will have to KILL people, and find some way to make sure I did something even if i knew that having to lay hands on someone who had shown such unfeigned interest in me would destroy a part of me, somehow, because indeed there is in me a need for just that kind of independent attachment from a woman.
yet, she showed not even the least awareness that she had just literally spit in my face by letting her relief cloud her to the awareness that she is under my spotlight, and that anyone who thinks she means anything to me and then does something as irritating as not distinguishing between me and any other male, but decides that somehow i must ... carry... the burden of her 'affection', like it is NOT her that is reponsible for her own actions; well, that person is in grave, serious, danger.
because, like God said, 'Who is MY equal, to whom will you compare Me?', and yet she did not even think tiwce, her being, as far as I am concerned, married, and still not getting it that I am already mad at her about that, that if it was not for God steering then i would literally strangle her JUST for that, and yet she still piles up dirt on dirt, like I am not a person whose pride matters more to him than all the sacrifices that nayone can give, and that unless someone decides to either get out of my way or bow down completely, then that person, regardless of how she may think I will act, will end up on my wrong side, and i will consider her my enemy.
the only reason I am breathing the same air as anyone right now is that there was, and still is, an order that was placed for some elephant tusk, and i was invited to work overnight with the two borthers to try to meet it, and we went to sleep around two, with absolutely nothing in my control, not even what manner of food I put in my mouth, or how much of it I do so, and all this because my system had gone into a deep shock, deeper than even the one I had when allsion showed up with that guy, whoever he is to her, because now i had exposed myself more than even with allsion, where I hid  behind God andsaid it would be nice of He saw to it that I had her [allison].
no, this time I was open about my interest, and pretty much like a sottish person, she took advantage, and THAT hit me between the eyes, and  plunged me as I said into deep ice.

Yet, I weary of all this bullshit, especially as I see every kind of female  crawling out of the wood work, like the st-peters woman, and some crazy white broad who was at charlie's and who would just come and stand around, and act like the seargent major at an army parade, and who showed up yesterday and did the same potting-down-of-her-bag and walking around in my field of vision she normally did in Fish Hoek.
Wonder waht part of 'I have had my fill of women here?' she and them, do not get?
I suppose i MUST start soon killing people, because this being downtrodden is TOO much for me!

Go saying to this people, "Seeing you shall see, and not perceive..."

Now that things have reached the 'irrevocable' stage, I must say that having anything to do with a person like nicky? would have been quite a big weight around my neck.When I made my way back to the mountain, I figured that they would all be awake, watching to see me as i alighted from the train , to figure out if I had any food, and thus relax, because to them, it is all about food, yes? I am like a petulant child, but once one stuffs my mouth full of treats, I will becaome as quiscent as a baby that has been fed cooking oil by a prostitute of a mother, just so that she can go abiut her nerfarious 'night shift' while the baby sleeps like a drunk.
But i guess they see, but do not really get beyond the point where what I say about myself registers.
That in the beginning, God said  "let US make man out of Our own image, and in Our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over ALL the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps up on the earth" and since that did not INSTANTLY happen, but rather, He saw that, with His spirit involved, and the demons, and the animals, and the man of dust being unprotected; it was NOT good for him to be alone, and so, He would have a helper for him made, but the man chose a woman, and God ... b-lessed... them, and so made them just a little above the animals, and the man did NOT have the helper that God meant for him, because the alone-ness never ended, for the man, since the woman sought to draw him to her own purposes, and the spirit wanted him to stop thinking that he was so special and just BE a talking animal, even if God specifically came to see the man, daily.
Then comes me, and fuck, with my mother up to her own tricks, I was born insular, and God never even went the route of saying that it was not good for the man to be alone; I can NOT exist in any world or any form of life unless I HAVE dominion and everything is under me, because, since at first, God said the man must be unlike Him, but with something like Him added on, [check the order of His speech] it is what I want that gets done, not the other way around.
and so, as i sit here, thinking I ought to just pull the plug, get the twenty-five, the twenty women and the five girls, and take this opportunity to start literally slaying everyone that has crossed me, and then have to journey to america, somehow sparing obama till I get there, so that i can kill him myself, I find it all so much... labour... but then, the thing is out of my hands.
the women had a choice, that I gave them, to humble themselves before me, and swallow their pride, and the people would just die, and i would not have to kill the women themselves, and i would end up, here in SA with twenty-seven ladies at my side, and then, i would work at proving things so that I had, at the end, enough women to satisfy every pang of mine, but of course, to them, it is always that I am just an  insect, something that boasts of things that it has no right to.
ANYWAY, the consolation is that I will finally get to kill michelle, because there is NO way i was just going to let her go peacefully to her death, hell, no. She hid behind others and used them for her own ends, and I am to let her just go like that? Hell, no. I will exact revenge, and even if it is only for a littel while and I will lose her to death anyway, I will have had her see my eys and known just how angry with her I am, and I would have been satisfied with smashing her face in, as well as the faces of all those i listed as being worth my killing them personally, and even butt-head, as well, because, again, must I just let him walk on in life after the insults her heaped on the person who, since I have dominion over every thing that is of flesh on this planet, and over the planet itself, and everything in it, then I am LITERALLY the GOD of ALL flesh;- and a small, little asshle decides that, because his skin is pink like a pig, and because he is not getting any pussy -NOW, I KNOW my God, and He may let people behave the way they want, but He will NEVER let me be dissed so much that He would stand by and let a woman that has crossed me and come under my vengeful eye, be ... taken... by some guy, and then have me entangled with that guy like the woman is worth more than my integrity- and so, thinks that i must be put down, to cover that fact, when the woman is so UGLY that I would rather be in a tank full of hungry piranha than anywhere near her.
Well, then, so be it, if it comes to that, but I REALLY would have liked to have more women, and this is a really dissatisfying conclusion to things.
I thought God was supposed to give me what I was looking for, but now i guess there are things even He can not do,because I see no way that I will be happy if things proceed the way they are going.
Of course, the other thing is that i have been thinking, and if allison, the one who was so used to creating her own extra-time, after the regulation time had expired, is ONLY guilty of  being too full of herself and thinking that she should be the boss even if she gradually changed, even though by not too much, and she seemed to have this fixation on being involved too in what I had concluded, and excluded her;- well, if she has lost that mentality, and i must admit that she is one person I would really miss, because i surprised myself the other day by thinking that I would like to go to France, actually that I would leave the french intact, inthe hope that two of her existed, and I felt an intense pain, such as i feel only when thinking, blast her, of having to kill this contemporary art chick, well, then, maybe, i have been focusin n the wrong people.
for some reason I can not find it in myself to kill either one of them, even though I get pissed off with them a lot, and the one has the sexy blonde chick to turn my anger away from her, for a while, while the other has the one that she tried to imitate by letting her hair down to make me realise that she actually has ears, but whether they work or not I can not tell.
But as for that other crew, I am definitely going to end their lives, myself, and NOT give it to someone else to do, even to my helper.
thye hurt me, and their fate is mine to decide, and since I am the LORD, the God of ALL flesh, I will make them suffer below and above the earth, and anyway, I will kill every male in america as well, leave obama and the white females, and then have the females, before they relocate to wherever they wish in Europe, lock him up, and I will come and occupy the white house, which I presume the current secretary of state would have prepared to my liking, ans well as those other places of research.
hell, there are even people here in SA that I am thinking will depart for europe on the plane that will bring the last two of my girls, because they are neither enemies nor indifferent, and of course thay are all females for whom i feel no attraction whatsoever, but they have helped me out a bit.
but for the rest, It is WAR

BEHOLD I am The LORD, the God of all Flesh

And it ends, "Is There ANYTHING too hard for Me?", and yes, you probably are saying that today was just another one of my blowing in the wind, and so, before I disabuse you of all that, I will tell you why people are still alive, even this late in the day:-

I went to kalk bay, to go up the mountain, but my stomach was growling, and so I went to see if tis guy I had made something for had sold anything and so, if I could have money to buy stuff, and as he had not, and I did not fancy going up the street where the red-head stays, I went up past olympia bakery but this guy who knows my obnoxious cousin called me, and asked me to help him with some... skulls... and frankly, as I sat there, watching the bevies of beauty pass by, and seeing that there were plenty of blondes, and the curious way the blondes speak directly to my libido, I realised that only forty of them for eternity would not be ... adequate... to let someone like me, with a memory that is like a computer that , once not focused on something, i.e., offline, would need to start at the beginning, rebooting and going over the basic questions, like 'why is this one here with me?' and I would say, "oh, because she reminded me of that other one that I killed but she is better because she did not disrespect me, and so, Ok, I will leave her be"...et.c.
So, I hesitated, and of course, it is also not to be ignored that this is, at the basic level, about race, because the ten initial women were never ignorant about respecting me despite the racial ...slurs... attendant on being black,and the others also followed suit, see?
However, God's take on it has been racial;-think September 18:Independence Day,[Zimbabwe got independence from colonial rule on April 18 1980] when I decided that no silly white woman will influence me ever, and then,  think the fact that there are political connotations, with the undeniable fact that I came here on the day that people gathered to elect zuma as leader of the african national congress, and the fact that God showed me things that were basically designed to make me stare balefully at women, especially white women, and especially THIS irritationg woman butt-head's mom who never seemed to get int into her head that she was messing with the most lethal force in the world simply because she thought the fact that she is a mother of an idiot who pissed me off was more important than the fact that I will snuff her life off like a candle blown out int the WIND!
So, of course, the racial connotations can NOT be ignored, and the fact that all this would probably suit me better if I took the ... view... that if this is all about freedom from the colonial mentality that these assholes seem to have, I would have twenty-seven women with me, as I wipe off every other creature in the world aside from the remaining women in Europe, and of course, there would be twenty-five women and two virgins, and then I would end up with forty women and, at first encounter anyway, twenty seven virgins, since twenty-seven years was how long mandela was locked up, so I would have these women that I myself would unlock, and all in all I would have 67 women, which for me is enough to say to this world, while everything in hell is reduced to insensate dust, after as long as it takes, well, smell you later.
Also, it would be NICE to know that I am spending six or so years reducing women that are more than the fifteen I would be looking forward to if my demands are not met, by tomorrow-more later- to beneath my feet so that there is never again anyone who thinks black is inferior, and I do not have to kill anyone... which is likely to happen tomorrow onwards, since those that want to be with me would have ... finally... realised that they, like the song God gave me when I was distressed that Sunday, literally, "pour out for themselves" their wants, instead of going around looking mournful whan they are pissing me off by thinking that I will take any of their crap, like the stupid nicky? did when she drove past me, and that silly blonde art woman whan she goes around siging, thinking that THAT will excuse her insulting the MOST powerful being in the whole of creation because she decides she knows better than me what should be done, and how it should be done.
Silly idiot, if nothing has changed by the time I get to the library tomorrow , to sit and post, then I solemnly and irrevocably swear that not only am I going to literally strangle you the next time I see you, but all those I initially promised to kill with my bare hands will die as I said, because you would have shown me that beneath all that flipping walking about, all you care about is a chance to get to reap the rewards of being with me, but despise me the same way that those I hated despise me, in which case, I would take it that then, if it is THAT difficult to get women  to come to mys side, I would have to be content with straining the whole of what remains of Europe for only 15 more women, and then everything is destroyed.
As I said, if by the time I get to the library tomorrow NOTHING has changed, then I tell you, it will proceed as I initially said it would, only worse, because, as I said, "I am the LORD, the God of All Flesh, is there ANYTHING too hard for ME?"
Well, the power is yours, and we shall see just how you all want it, yes?

Oh, and by the way, yeah, it WAS from God, all that about Vidkun Quisling, and the Stop Drinking vision , because after I had written it, I wanted for some time to include something I had forgotten, and that was the fact that my only sister who is NOT my father's and who, ironically he loves more than any other of his kids, even though he was cuckoodled  by my mother, then was seen looking rather cross my way.
This is presumably, since, the fact that there is no mutual fatherhood between us, there then is no holiness in her, and the only one I know who has no deep seated cleanliness is the... annoying... blonde chick from the contemporary art setup, and indeed, I have become so very pissed off with her that I am thinking that I will have to end up killing her anyway,because there is NO excuse for THAT kind of disrespect from a woman who ought to know that I am a black ma, and in my culture women generally show men respect, unless they have gone 'skinless' like white people,who have no shame.
So, it stands as is, the two women in the Stop Drinking vision that are mother and daughter,  and only ONE of who is acceptable, and this other.. irritating woman.
either there is a change there or INDEED, I am killing people.