GOING CRITICAL

The way things are going do not blame me if i do something catastrophic here and/ or now, because,as usual some silly fools are all leaving it up to me to decide their futures,when in fact.... .Ok,let me put it this way:-Before today, I went on what would amount to a sabbatical,and even when i had both time,opportunity and ...ah ..NO REASON TO... i did not go on the internet, for the reason that i did not have anything to say,and,of course, somebody had... seen me and decided he could better organise my life,andd so,because i am literally INCAPABLE OF LOOKING AFTER MYSELF i just froze and let vinnie re-arrange things. Then last night, him and this zulu painter 'partner' and fellow christian decided to try to have me stay somewhere better since iwas sleeping in the garage whichis used as the workshop,so when they said they could pay for my accomodation in Site 5 or Capricorn,and i had by then grasped that the fundamental difference (nay, the reason why i have a helper AT ALL) is the fact that i am as capable of being responsiblefor myself or another as a new born. AND that i never have been able to ' hold my own' against any of the situations in life that others seem capable of... well, I told him not to bother, i would go back to the mountain. The young man whose house it was seemed more than a little... unhappy that someone as....see-though as myself... who re-acted obviously to the casual, patronising way he adddressed someone that i regarded as being a... father figure... should be on the premises, showing my.... judgemental attitude - and so,i knew thattonight would be my... last night at this place. Which means that, being an intense person who takes disappointments so...hard... my going back to the mountain signifies my...judgement on ... things, and i would be surprised if i ...waited... for anyone to make up her mind, since i would be issuing instructions so that i go from ground zero to a... lofty place. That means, as far as i am concerned, 21 FEMALES currently in the dark about things. As for the rest,well, i have TOLD them repeatedly that the power is in their hands, but they think i lie, so,well, they will have to bear their own fruits. I can not, so tomorrow after ' work' i xexpect to ',speak' and show who the king is.