And I tend to listen to no one but God, which makes me very ... unorthodox.
Relax, butt-head's mom, I do not think I will be killing your son, or you, or your daughter.
So, there I am,, with a friend of mine, on a slow day which we spent walking around, discovering the Claremont library from where I sent the afternoon post, and then we go back 'home' and then after that, instead of our normal 'free' hours dancehall music session, I prepare to sleep, and my friend decides that he would put a movie instead, called Rolling with the Nines about this UK drug ring with characters with the unlikely names of "Carnage", "Rage", ... bla bla.|
I was falling asleep anyway till blood and guts started .
Turns out this character wanted to be a rap star, and so, to finace his crew's CD, he borrowed UK$5k from this guy, or maybe it was cocaine money which he owed because he had not paid the supplier. Either way, the owed guy decides to come and collect, not the dough, but a head, and the guy is taken out B.I.G style at a traffic light.With his little sister as a witness. Then the guy who killed the other guy comes to the sister AFTER her interrogation by the police and he beats her up, tells her what is owed, and then rapes her. While repeatedly beating her.
As soon as I saw that, I said "Ok I get the point! I will not kill the asshole!"
I saw myseolf as the mean... 'motherfucker' called 'Temper' with butt-head's mom or Nicky? under me, and I realised what I had overlooked:-
I mean, sex is supposed to be enjoyed by both parties, and I would not like a case where I am the perpetrator of unseemly violence when I intend to enjoy myself with a woman who shows every indication that she would like to enjoy herself with me, yes?
In other words, I have revised my tactics, but, since without the inclusion of God I am totally lost as to how to deal with people, I will explain what I understand about what God said, on a night a year ago, with both a vision and the "Tell Me what you want from Me" statement.
I was, as I said, feeling hopeless, and stymied, by someone God had spoken of but left me no outlet with, like He said something about my independence day and I was not sure if she, the girl, would feature in my future life, because the ONE thing I did not want was someone like her around me, for the rest of my life.
Effectively, I guess I asked for an overturning of the probable path of my life by calling for ten women that would make me stand tall, and not feel I HAVE to be held under by a woman's contempt for me, which would result in my responding with anger and also end up making me continuously focus on women, and nurse my anger, see?
So, ALL I needed were ten women, and there would be five, according to the bat-wing-unfolding vision, that would be tucked under my wing; claimed, after that 'thing' was built.
Ten women who wanted me. So that I do not demand the heads of ... .
Anyway, these are the ten:
The Glencairn Heights girl.
The other golden haired girl also on 25May
The girl I 'called' at the beach in Simonstown, who turned away and then turned to face me
The black clad blonde with her cleft chin.
The polite girl who soothed me.
The smiling lady with the sea-blue eyes.
The diving lady with the incredible waistline and flared ass
The Shopaholic Girl.
The red-head at Glencairn Station
The blonde on the same train, who left me in NO doubt whatsoever just what she thought of me.
Now, I am almost totally certain that there are no more women that I would have room for except these, unless they happen to include these... conditional people.
Butt-head's mom and Nicky? and three others from that same team. Well, I could start off with the vision of me standing looking up and holding a right hand with fingers splayed and someone 'over-seeing' me saying something in protest to someone else who responds that 'if God is not for us He is against us', but I guess the simple truth is that I always follow visions from God and I was wondering what to do with myself and how to get out of this situation especially as I began to realise that, from seeing Nicky?'s mom driving up and down in pursuit of me when I was in Simonstown, I had grown rather affectionate of her, and did not see myself doing the son harm, or any of hers harm while I wanted her WITH me. Hence my yo-yo like motion everyday.
But, hey, I give it a rest. If she is not interested I will leave her alone. Unfortunately, I will then have to kill her son, not because of her refusal, but because I have deferred my anger because she was somehow in the picture. If, on the other hand, she accepts, then butt-head would have to stay out of my sight, and live somewhere far away, like maybe Brazil or something, where I will never go, since I am not interested in those places, or those people.
But as for the rest of the people, like the Xhosas and such; well, I am your worst nightmare come to life, and you will DIE you fools in the places I mentioned.
I think there will be no more women but these, since there IS after all, only one of me, and only so many hours in a day and I can only accommodate people, in reality, NOW when I am not known, instead of later when I become just a killing machine, taking on your best fighters one-on-one, and killing them publicly and also destroying civilisation as you know it.
Well, fifteen it is.
Provisionally.
Because I do not imagine Nicky?'s mom would like me living out my fantasy of kissing her... provocative... lips if she was at the same time groaning about the death of her son at my hands.Guess when all is said and done, I "wanna be loved/not for who think I am/who you want me to be/just love me for me" and love in return.
