I wake up and walk rasta all the way to Wynberg ;we have no material to make things so we are just basically chilling, then take a break as the two ganja smokers carry on all the way to Witteboom station where rasta will get on the train, for free, if possible, and go on to Simonstown.
And I discover that there are R5/hr internet cafes here in Wynberg, and go sit down, and I am in a slump, of despair, because I am getting to that point where I am willing to chuck everything else away and just blast the roof off.God IS in control, I will not argue that, but fuck, I hate being held back by... people. Yesterday I do another 180 degree turn-around, and I am convinced that the people I opened the doors to are busy laughing at me, that I am coming back to heel like a well-trained dog, and I HATE that. So much that I have decided I will NOT open the doors anymore to them. Let them die for all I care. I said what I had said because I thought that would ellicit a response from them, and yet again, there is not even a response.
Fine then, butt-head dies.
That is final.
And michelle.
And I scratch the women off for ever, because they assume I will come crawling to them. I will not. They have basically laughed at me for the last time. I have had enough.
I was cross enough to begin with, but now I am incandescent with rage.
Maybe they assume that God will hold me back so that I will have nothing till their silent demands are met.
But I am ordered by no one. I will do exactly as I please.
Here is an example.
I am taking these women as well as the ten, because I like them, and to heck with the bonds of ... family ... that may bind them to those I will kill:
1)The Xhosa lady at the Simonstown station.
2)The French girl, Allison
3)The Dutch girl
4)The Capricorn girl
5)There was this girl this morning, as me and the other guys turned the corner into the main road from Station road, with the puppy, [rasta's] trotting along behind us. Now I was walking at the back while the two talked mostly of 'burning the white man' and all the ganja-induced hallucinations of the down-trodden black man in an alien land.
Then this white chick with a beautiful face and a grey clinging, long skirt, ear-phones, and a jersey? walked past, with her light brown hair blowing in the wind. She is medium height, eh, tall for a woman, and she was smiling as she looked at me trying to coax the puppy away from a Somali-stand, and I was struck by her face, and I openly stared at her, even as she passed and then turned towards Library Square, with her shapely ass swaying in the long skirt, aware by her walk that I was drinking everything in. I wanted her.Well, I KNOW there are other girls I have felt something for, but I am wide awake, and I am not just falling for any woman who looks at me, I am aware of the fact that I am rather critical, and the person that impresses me has to be of a certain... allure, and so, heck, I want these ones.I was uneasy all of last night, because by my conclusion, if the 'five' whom I snatched for myself were the crew of butt-head's mom and sisters, then God would in effect be saying that I was all along looking for love and I should listen to women's voices, like the first man, and it made no sense, so I was chucking off that idea, but had no sufficient justification for it, till I remembered that God is NOT a family man, that He told Abram to leave his family, came to Isaac only after his father was dead, and spoke great words to Jacob on the night he left home.
That is too consistent with a God Who loves one man for it too be a coicidence that He selected me , a loner who does not have a bone of empathy for anyone else in all of creation. And told me NOT to bend to anyone's whims but to be myself.
One thing for certain; He does not want me to change, but to remain me, and today, when I saw the faint outline of the girl's underwear as she swayed past me, I knew that I was lying to myself that I would just suddenly become blind and stop staring when I saw beautiful women. And wanting them. That will not happen.
So, everything is back on track; the people will die, and I will take what I want, remove what I want from the rubbish, and then destroy the rest, because its my world.
And I discover that there are R5/hr internet cafes here in Wynberg, and go sit down, and I am in a slump, of despair, because I am getting to that point where I am willing to chuck everything else away and just blast the roof off.God IS in control, I will not argue that, but fuck, I hate being held back by... people. Yesterday I do another 180 degree turn-around, and I am convinced that the people I opened the doors to are busy laughing at me, that I am coming back to heel like a well-trained dog, and I HATE that. So much that I have decided I will NOT open the doors anymore to them. Let them die for all I care. I said what I had said because I thought that would ellicit a response from them, and yet again, there is not even a response.
Fine then, butt-head dies.
That is final.
And michelle.
And I scratch the women off for ever, because they assume I will come crawling to them. I will not. They have basically laughed at me for the last time. I have had enough.
I was cross enough to begin with, but now I am incandescent with rage.
Maybe they assume that God will hold me back so that I will have nothing till their silent demands are met.
But I am ordered by no one. I will do exactly as I please.
Here is an example.
I am taking these women as well as the ten, because I like them, and to heck with the bonds of ... family ... that may bind them to those I will kill:
1)The Xhosa lady at the Simonstown station.
2)The French girl, Allison
3)The Dutch girl
4)The Capricorn girl
5)There was this girl this morning, as me and the other guys turned the corner into the main road from Station road, with the puppy, [rasta's] trotting along behind us. Now I was walking at the back while the two talked mostly of 'burning the white man' and all the ganja-induced hallucinations of the down-trodden black man in an alien land.
Then this white chick with a beautiful face and a grey clinging, long skirt, ear-phones, and a jersey? walked past, with her light brown hair blowing in the wind. She is medium height, eh, tall for a woman, and she was smiling as she looked at me trying to coax the puppy away from a Somali-stand, and I was struck by her face, and I openly stared at her, even as she passed and then turned towards Library Square, with her shapely ass swaying in the long skirt, aware by her walk that I was drinking everything in. I wanted her.Well, I KNOW there are other girls I have felt something for, but I am wide awake, and I am not just falling for any woman who looks at me, I am aware of the fact that I am rather critical, and the person that impresses me has to be of a certain... allure, and so, heck, I want these ones.I was uneasy all of last night, because by my conclusion, if the 'five' whom I snatched for myself were the crew of butt-head's mom and sisters, then God would in effect be saying that I was all along looking for love and I should listen to women's voices, like the first man, and it made no sense, so I was chucking off that idea, but had no sufficient justification for it, till I remembered that God is NOT a family man, that He told Abram to leave his family, came to Isaac only after his father was dead, and spoke great words to Jacob on the night he left home.
That is too consistent with a God Who loves one man for it too be a coicidence that He selected me , a loner who does not have a bone of empathy for anyone else in all of creation. And told me NOT to bend to anyone's whims but to be myself.
One thing for certain; He does not want me to change, but to remain me, and today, when I saw the faint outline of the girl's underwear as she swayed past me, I knew that I was lying to myself that I would just suddenly become blind and stop staring when I saw beautiful women. And wanting them. That will not happen.
So, everything is back on track; the people will die, and I will take what I want, remove what I want from the rubbish, and then destroy the rest, because its my world.
Ok, fuck THAT. Enough of the '5' women stuff. God would not limit me. After all, when He used Nathan to rebuke David for the killing of Uriah and stealing of a "neighbour's lamb", He said He had given him many wives, and would have given him more if he had wanted them [and this AFTER the law that said a king must NOT have many wives lest his heart turned away from God;- but David was different he was a man 'after My own heart'(AND here I am, a person WITH, basically, God's OWN heart, if one equates soul with heart, which makes me much more... unlimited... than the one to whom God symbolically gave the keys, so that what he opens, no one can shut, and what he shuts, no one can open) as God Himself put it]; which means God was not interested in how many women a man had, provided he did not, as God spoke of Job when the devil said everything a man had he would give for his skin; compromise his integrity, but "hold fast to it".
So, fuck the arguments:- I will take these women as well.
In presumably, chronological order of appearance:
1) The psychiatrist chick on attachment at Valkenberg when I met her
2) The Victoria Hospital nurse
3)The 'divorced' lady at Simonstwon library
4)The chick with the blue underwear I met on the train, who spent her time lying on the beach at Simonstown like someone had switched off the batteries
5)The girl with the khaki shorts and German shepherd who poked her stick into the fisherman's hut as I lay inside, after pasing her and looking at her swaying hips and lusting, apparently, hopelessly.
6)The Simonstown library lady with her golden wedding ring, and sexy figure. Noonkies, her name sounds like.
7)The Fish Hoek library lady with her self-conscious attention to her figure, soft voice and glasses
8)The nail-biting girl at the Beachside restaurant at Fish Hoek Beach.
9) The smiling chick at Sunny Cove Station.
10)The worried woman with her crew cut hair, glasses, and her, at first, attitude, which she changed as she started following me around, afraid of rejection.Yeah, and what an ass!
11)The beautiful blue eyed, brown-haired chick with her English nose and sorrowful stare.
12)The Woman's Day blonde who screeched when another diving student grabbed her ass.
13) The Black-clad nervous chick at Simonstown Beach
14)The kimono-clad blonde at the same ... embarrasing... scene.
15)The 9/11 chick at Fish Hoek library the day after.
16)The girl Jumana.
17)The redhead from somewhere around the OSC viewpoint.
18) the blonde one at the Simonstown cafe who greeted me so effusively.
19)The smiling perambulator chick at the art shop.
20)The other cross-legged chick at Fish Hoek library with her daughter.
21)The red-dressed blonde I met also at Th Fish Hoek library and the day after with her... daughter?
22) The interesting looking leggy chick at Volkers and Whatever on the road to the library in Fish Hoek, and her daughter
23)The girl in the silver sedan on New Year's.
24) The tall young mother with her baby daughter and long brown hair who was re-reading to her daughter stories about "Mary Contrary" till she became so self conscious she stood up, and showed herself.
25) The beautiful blonde chick, pocket sized, who stood to let me get a better look as I compared her favourable to Nicky?, and she passed with flying colours.
26) The model called June, from a March 2001 Men's Health Magazine with her attractive, big bust.
27) the ravishingly smiling woman at the Fish-Hoek library who... disturbed me so much I still can not quite accept it was ME she was smiling at like it was the best thing to even happen to her.
You get the idea, right?
So, fuck the arguments:- I will take these women as well.
In presumably, chronological order of appearance:
1) The psychiatrist chick on attachment at Valkenberg when I met her
2) The Victoria Hospital nurse
3)The 'divorced' lady at Simonstwon library
4)The chick with the blue underwear I met on the train, who spent her time lying on the beach at Simonstown like someone had switched off the batteries
5)The girl with the khaki shorts and German shepherd who poked her stick into the fisherman's hut as I lay inside, after pasing her and looking at her swaying hips and lusting, apparently, hopelessly.
6)The Simonstown library lady with her golden wedding ring, and sexy figure. Noonkies, her name sounds like.
7)The Fish Hoek library lady with her self-conscious attention to her figure, soft voice and glasses
8)The nail-biting girl at the Beachside restaurant at Fish Hoek Beach.
9) The smiling chick at Sunny Cove Station.
10)The worried woman with her crew cut hair, glasses, and her, at first, attitude, which she changed as she started following me around, afraid of rejection.Yeah, and what an ass!
11)The beautiful blue eyed, brown-haired chick with her English nose and sorrowful stare.
12)The Woman's Day blonde who screeched when another diving student grabbed her ass.
13) The Black-clad nervous chick at Simonstown Beach
14)The kimono-clad blonde at the same ... embarrasing... scene.
15)The 9/11 chick at Fish Hoek library the day after.
16)The girl Jumana.
17)The redhead from somewhere around the OSC viewpoint.
18) the blonde one at the Simonstown cafe who greeted me so effusively.
19)The smiling perambulator chick at the art shop.
20)The other cross-legged chick at Fish Hoek library with her daughter.
21)The red-dressed blonde I met also at Th Fish Hoek library and the day after with her... daughter?
22) The interesting looking leggy chick at Volkers and Whatever on the road to the library in Fish Hoek, and her daughter
23)The girl in the silver sedan on New Year's.
24) The tall young mother with her baby daughter and long brown hair who was re-reading to her daughter stories about "Mary Contrary" till she became so self conscious she stood up, and showed herself.
25) The beautiful blonde chick, pocket sized, who stood to let me get a better look as I compared her favourable to Nicky?, and she passed with flying colours.
26) The model called June, from a March 2001 Men's Health Magazine with her attractive, big bust.
27) the ravishingly smiling woman at the Fish-Hoek library who... disturbed me so much I still can not quite accept it was ME she was smiling at like it was the best thing to even happen to her.
You get the idea, right?
Maybe there are some that I have NOT mentioned at this time, but are there. Well, let me say this about women that attract me; they HAVE to be ... ill-fitting... in their normal lives, so much so that it shows, because if they are happy and everything is going well for them, they have no need for me, no need to look for relief elsewhere, so to these I am attracted totally, and, since God is "a God of thin violence" they are easy for me to drag into my life, and keep, since they themselves would be happy to be around me, provided they know who the head honcho is, of course. No one will appeal to God against me and be heard, because where people and everything on this earth is concerned, I am the absolute final word, and above me there is no other.
better learn to live with that, because if you do not, you will NOT live. At all.
see it then how the innocent going up in vapours
and propaganda spreading inna de Sunday papers
Not even Superman could are save them with him cape coz
Red Jah judgement are blaze us, blaze
And Babylon are gamble the youth dem life like racecourse
And giddem a uniform and shave then head with razors
And NOW THE CLOCK ARE STRIKE WAR dont be amazed coz
Them inna de churched try to save us, saviours...
