Although I later said I would keep on getting some more but then later reneged even on that, yes?
OK, let me backtrack a bit.
Told you that there was this vision where there was the number '73' and I later said I would explain it someday.
NOW is as good a time as any, because I HAVE reached the number 37 as far as women are concerned, and it was only when I got there that I started being what I am feeling inside:- totally fed up with everything remotely called 'love'. I do not know about the remaining two, but they have to be exceptional to get over the bitterness I feel over the whole human race.Because I promised myself I would go nowhere till my woman issue was resolved:- when I leave there will be no room for other women, not at all.
Now, for the vision, and its coming about:-
I was still 29, and I was now seeing NO way out of my predicament; God had told me to be myself, but then I was getting this attention from this little, disgusting woman, and she WAS a christian,and after all God Is Three-In-One and so what jesus says goes, and I was worrying myself sick about the future, and so, one night I told God, knowing full well how kids get born, but no longer trusting my own conclusions since they seemed to be so completely out of this world that even God would not countenance them, that I wanted a son. It would be better, I felt, to just fold and give in and be one of the crowd, and surprisingly [because of the conclusions I reached which I later told the woman, michelle, about] God gave me a vision that made me tremble about MY future. Let me say it this way:It was split into two halves, like a TV screen that has the upper screen showing different things from the bottom half, but the upper half was split into two adjacent pieces side by side, and the whole thing played in sequence, with the left upper piece first, then the right upper piece and then the bottom piece.
One conclusion I reached was that, if the bottom person with eyes so bleak was MY son, then I wanted no child of mine to live in a world like that, so, no kids, thank you very much.
Of course, as I NOW know, the conclusion was wrong, because the bleak person was ME, the person with such deep sadness and anger that life itself was too bitter for him to handle.
TRUST ME THERE, PEOPLE you have NEVER seen the likes of the anger you will see revealed in a short while, and ALL of it is justified.I will KILL you so painfully and still not be satisfied till everything is cleaned out to my specifications.Back, though to the vision:-
upper left screen:
This green alien person, head with a depression in the middle, like it had been bashed in; naked, terrifying in appearance and like a Professor Xavier of X-Men in his levitation chair. legs pressed together, appears out of the air and he is atop a flat-table like thing around which some people, not a lot, are kneeling and he goes,"by your powers combined I am... Find THEM!!!" with the last in words of such maniacal rage I wondered what kind of beast God was letting loose on the earth to torment me, because I knew the cartoon "Captain Planet", where the hero goes "by your powers combined I am Captain Planet", but THIS guy just pointed a green arm to the right screen as though he had been interrupted in mid-speech and Then he said the 'find them' part.
I can not convey the anger in those words, but I obediently turned to the right screen and saw myself, with a black-haired woman with close cropped hair, covering the ears, standing on my right. All that was visible of MY face was my unshaven jaw, which I would recognise anywhere because I have looked at it long enough, getting proud of it as I realised that the more stubborn I got, the more it became firm, and not a weakling's indecisive one, and I was turning my back to the green monster, while the woman on my right, reaching to just below my shoulder, was turning in such stunned surprise towards the monster as though she had heard its speech, and as I was turning away, dressed in the visible upper-body in a blue tight-fitting top like superman, with the red cape and all, but without the logo; my eyes were drawn to what was on my chest.The words
t
h
s
I woke up shivering, because I assumed first off that, since I had ten years left of my allotted fifteen, I would spend the last three running from the beastly thing, and leave my 'son' at the mercy of bullies.
{But then, 'fat kid' is the opposite of 'thin kid' and a thin kid can be called 'lean' which is the same as 'inclined', so the fat-boy would be someone/someones, male, who would perforce NOT be inclined towards the cross-boy. In other words, enemies of his.}.
After giving up on the child thing, though, and being by now familiar with God's way of twisting things but still telling of what will SURELY come, I ended up focusing on the intertwined 't-h-s' which could mean, with my background, either 'the holy spirit' or "thornhill high school", the school I went to for my Advanced Level.
Which explains why I put the holy spirit under the spotlight in the past two years, and finally figured out that he has NO place in my heart, so, by default,the letters meant 'thornhill high school' which makes sense when you realise that the school motto is "per spinas ad culmina", "through thorns to the top', so, it meant that there would be 73 somethings that would have something to do with my heart [chest, see?] which would cause me to rise to the top, but when I thought of the islamic paradise thing, where a man has 72 or 74 virgins, I knew the number would be too much, and I immediately rejected it.I preferred the back-to-front version, which is exactly what happened:- I propositioned NONE of the 37 women, but I have just claimed them without their consent, and because I said, without paying attention to the vision, that I would have 39 women, it means I still lack two women.
not even superman coulda save them with him cape coz
redda judjement Jah blaze us
But maybe I am explaining this in disjointed ways,
so let me go to the first part:
Linking the green thing with the biblical prophecy in Isaiah, that says "he grew up as a green shoot", you see then that a tree with no bark would be basically naked, without any hardness to hide behind.Just the other day, AFTER choosing the 37, I had discovered that I LIKED having women to sleep with and I was NOT ashamed, when I was explaining about the knowledge of good and evil, and so, THAT should sufficiently cover the, "by your powers combined I am" part.What is left is for them to come to me
The head that seems bashed in was a give-away: running away from being beaten by my mother as a kid, I banged against the handle of the wardrobe door in her bedroom, and got a depression on my head, which is still there. My dad was NOT there, it was night, and my sisters were blissfully sleeping when she began to beat me up for some trumped-up reason or the other.I bled, of course, but refused to let her dress the wound, and it is still there to this day; my wound. Maybe when I am more relaxed some day I will cut my hair,but for now I am going to let it run free, and not bother with either it or my beard.
So the small woman with the close cropped hair which covers her ears is one who does NOT use her ears for hearing, she sees but does not hear; and as I neglected to mention that she was also quite good-looking, and white, she is therefore definitely NOT michelle. Maybe the black-hair is misleading! Three guesses as to who she is? fuck, who else can be a small, good-looking woman who sees but does not hear so good? I do not even NEED to think twice about it!I only guess that she will hear when she hears the green monster calling for his own. Or something like that.But then there is the angry boy, who is 'cross' with what he sees and sees no relief when he has his eyes open. As I said, all three are one and the same, your worst nightmare, me.
