I'm ready now
who did I chat?
Whole side we are action pak
No beat round the bush
No go away and come back
Right now we are action pak
who did I chat?
Whole side we are action pak
No beat round the bush
No go away and come back
Right now we are action pak
I had ... assumed... that , since NOTHING changes, then the Judgement Day that God spoke of ( "if", as I was uncertain of THAT, God had REALLY said that) would only mean that there would be no physical change.
I had no idea that God wanted me as I am, that there exists nothing on this planet; in all creation, that can effect any change in me, because, see I am... frozen... as I am [eh, God's doing ,that, when He gave me the... helper; otherwise I would have been broken already, and dead, but He gave me some... one... that would make the immutability that existed in me also invulnerable] so, I have to revise my... opinion... of what God meant when He said "Judgement Day".
Actually I am certain it is a 'physical day',a day where it is not only confirmed WHO I am; by the darkness and the deaths of the people like obama and the ...others, but also a day where I am exposed, and start living under the ... glare... of public scrutiny.
Now, the latter makes me rather nervous, because I am not yet in a position to stand for myself, but then, God said that I must not be dismayed, because, I presume, He will still be with me and steer me as He has done before, where I only have to point out something I do not like and the situation changes, and I am left unscathed, going exactly as I wish.
Well, I have relied on His word so far, and He has pulled through all the time, and so there is no need to assume that, suddenly, He will vanish.
My Friend does not do such things, because no one forced Him to take me up in the first place,. and He is Elohim, the God Who sees what will be even before He begins what IS. So, I am safe, forever.
On the other hand, if I am known, then it means that I will suddenly be carried away by many females clamouring for attention, yes? I do not think so, because I am still intensely critical, and so, intensely impervious to appeal, especially to superficial attraction.
I WOULD end up killing the bitch who tried it on me, really.
Oh and yeah, I will not consider the woman based on her background, because God never created a race, so I will treat women as individuals to be appreciated as they are, regardless of my anger at the nations as a whole, YESSSS!
Now, I was just thinking again of certain women, and one day back in Fish Hoek while waiting for the library to open, this rather large coloured/Indian woman came and sat next to me on the bench. She had a baby boy on a... thing... [hey I am not in the parenting business; I do not know the stuff] which hung suspended on her in front [eh?] and when I commented that the ... boy... was sleeping peacefully, she said he had just got his injection at the clinical [fuck, it WAS a he] and then she and I started chatting about kids, with her saying that the best thing for a woman was to be a mother, and my heart was sinking, because I found her quite attractive, and she had those features that made me feel at ease around her, and when she said that the baby even slept under her, that he was quite safe with her, that she had two kids, and this one was the first she had with her husband, and the other boy was eleven, I was on option-overload. I mean, it would have been easier to tear her off if she was not a mother with a... mixed... family, but this was more complicated.
I gave up on her, though I was quite smitten, and started talking about my nephew and embarrassing questions at the gym when a guy had bigger.. endowments than me, and that raised a laugh. then the library opened and we went in, but then, I was still scratched, see and the scar does not form for me; if I want something, I must get it or have a valid reason why I should NOT have it, and I have not found one for myself with this woman. the kids go, she comes, and that is that, as far as I am concerned.
Then there is the beautiful woman again at the library who had this 'viscose' looking top held up with straps whom I said did not even look at me, but was walking with her... presumably... daughter, and they went to the film/kids section. Well, again, I LIKE. I want.
Man, jesus had some IDEA of how to enter the 'kingdom' of heaven; be a kid. Well I never grew up, so I do not beat round the bush. I want something, I get it.
Or that blonde lady who had a grey skin-tight on her, a bit elderly, who walked up and down past the shop and impressed me with her demeanour. and I said I wanted to see her again, but immediately rubbished the idea, and God intervened and said I should not think evil of Him, as if He could fail to provide when He is YHWH-Jireh, the Unchanging One Who Sees.
So, I am adding the stuck up daughter and her mother, who had parked their car at Jubilee Square, and the other one with the curves and the lined face, who came two days in a row to the shop. I think I wrote it down either in COUNTING NUMB3R5 or here somwhere.
So, that is it. It is ALL about ME!
I had no idea that God wanted me as I am, that there exists nothing on this planet; in all creation, that can effect any change in me, because, see I am... frozen... as I am [eh, God's doing ,that, when He gave me the... helper; otherwise I would have been broken already, and dead, but He gave me some... one... that would make the immutability that existed in me also invulnerable] so, I have to revise my... opinion... of what God meant when He said "Judgement Day".
Actually I am certain it is a 'physical day',a day where it is not only confirmed WHO I am; by the darkness and the deaths of the people like obama and the ...others, but also a day where I am exposed, and start living under the ... glare... of public scrutiny.
Now, the latter makes me rather nervous, because I am not yet in a position to stand for myself, but then, God said that I must not be dismayed, because, I presume, He will still be with me and steer me as He has done before, where I only have to point out something I do not like and the situation changes, and I am left unscathed, going exactly as I wish.
Well, I have relied on His word so far, and He has pulled through all the time, and so there is no need to assume that, suddenly, He will vanish.
My Friend does not do such things, because no one forced Him to take me up in the first place,. and He is Elohim, the God Who sees what will be even before He begins what IS. So, I am safe, forever.
On the other hand, if I am known, then it means that I will suddenly be carried away by many females clamouring for attention, yes? I do not think so, because I am still intensely critical, and so, intensely impervious to appeal, especially to superficial attraction.
I WOULD end up killing the bitch who tried it on me, really.
Oh and yeah, I will not consider the woman based on her background, because God never created a race, so I will treat women as individuals to be appreciated as they are, regardless of my anger at the nations as a whole, YESSSS!
Now, I was just thinking again of certain women, and one day back in Fish Hoek while waiting for the library to open, this rather large coloured/Indian woman came and sat next to me on the bench. She had a baby boy on a... thing... [hey I am not in the parenting business; I do not know the stuff] which hung suspended on her in front [eh?] and when I commented that the ... boy... was sleeping peacefully, she said he had just got his injection at the clinical [fuck, it WAS a he] and then she and I started chatting about kids, with her saying that the best thing for a woman was to be a mother, and my heart was sinking, because I found her quite attractive, and she had those features that made me feel at ease around her, and when she said that the baby even slept under her, that he was quite safe with her, that she had two kids, and this one was the first she had with her husband, and the other boy was eleven, I was on option-overload. I mean, it would have been easier to tear her off if she was not a mother with a... mixed... family, but this was more complicated.
I gave up on her, though I was quite smitten, and started talking about my nephew and embarrassing questions at the gym when a guy had bigger.. endowments than me, and that raised a laugh. then the library opened and we went in, but then, I was still scratched, see and the scar does not form for me; if I want something, I must get it or have a valid reason why I should NOT have it, and I have not found one for myself with this woman. the kids go, she comes, and that is that, as far as I am concerned.
Then there is the beautiful woman again at the library who had this 'viscose' looking top held up with straps whom I said did not even look at me, but was walking with her... presumably... daughter, and they went to the film/kids section. Well, again, I LIKE. I want.
Man, jesus had some IDEA of how to enter the 'kingdom' of heaven; be a kid. Well I never grew up, so I do not beat round the bush. I want something, I get it.
Or that blonde lady who had a grey skin-tight on her, a bit elderly, who walked up and down past the shop and impressed me with her demeanour. and I said I wanted to see her again, but immediately rubbished the idea, and God intervened and said I should not think evil of Him, as if He could fail to provide when He is YHWH-Jireh, the Unchanging One Who Sees.
So, I am adding the stuck up daughter and her mother, who had parked their car at Jubilee Square, and the other one with the curves and the lined face, who came two days in a row to the shop. I think I wrote it down either in COUNTING NUMB3R5 or here somwhere.
So, that is it. It is ALL about ME!
