Tell Me what YOU want from Me



I was getting my education today about what is going on from The Most High God, because, frankly I had, to put it in a Shona manner of speaking; 'my mouth in my nose'.
I was sullen, and expecting God to let me down and leave me for the jackals.
But, this is the good part, because I have let out so many things about Him and me already that I do not have to invent anything, but point out what has already happened and show the MIND of God, and thus, unfortunately for you all, show you WHY you all are going to die.
Now, this is the thing that happened before, when I was trying to solve the Goldbach Conjecture and the holy spirit and his tongues and contempt were pulling me down, and my mom did not want me to win the prize because I was meant to suffer each and every day of my life while she reaped all the financial rewards of whatever field of endeavour I was supposed to be in:-
God spoke to me clearly and without quoting any text from anyone or lines from a song, and He said:-
Try the falco effect
and it took me three days to settle down enough to start sorting out the jumble of numbers and logic and my own insecurity to actually come up with the Falco concept.
That was in 2000, and you will NOTE that what He said went directly contrary to what the holy spirit, who was beating me down with the 'obey your parents' dogma, was for.
Also, in that year, when I was trying to honour the 'Three in One',  God refused to let me include jesus and the holy spirit;- I think I mentioned the 'wind' blowing the jesus paper UNDER the Father paper, somewhere; yes, I definitely DID mention that.
Then, BEFORE 2000, in 1998, He had quoted for me the lines of the poem by this Englishman
what tangled webs we weave
when first we learn to deceive

over the issue of me trying to go for a girl that was beautiful but playing the field, and wanting men to come and fall all over her when she cocked her finger at them, BECAUSE I had seen through her, despised her, but wanted to... finally be ... normal... since  growing up was catching up with me and I had to be responsible and... outgoing.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, God has been intervening and interesting Himself in my affairs, without me sometimes even asking Him.
like the time He said that September 18... of 2011 ...     would be my Independence day, and on that day I decided NOT to carry on lying to women I despised and knew despised me but found me... useful... just so that I could get laid, even at the cost of my own self-respect.

But, you see, He never EXPLAINED His actions to me, but would just say something and sit back, which has led me to a lot of confusion and misguided despair regarding His 'standing with me' against enemies.

Like when He gave me the vision "Sunday 22 October" where a poster of a blonde wearing an extremely amazed face , mouth agape, was posted on the window of an MPV [mom's personal vehicle] which was parked at the Parking Lot in Fish Hoek near Pick and Pay in such a way that the face was facing east, as if 'seeing the dawn', or seeing the light.

makes me wonder though IF butt-head's mom, when she read my outburst, against God, on that day, really SAW anything because she still kept on trying to interfere and be the protector of her kids.

Anyway, I assumed that the vision meant I would be parked with women in Alaska by October 22, and... it did not happen, and I was SO let down.

But the mistake was mine, and God did not bend over to accommodate my erroneous conclusions.

Now, my POINT is that, on the night leading to the dawn of January 9 2012, God after having heard me speak about how I was so down about how women were dictating terms to me and how I felt squeezed in because everyone was expecting me to at least make the occasional pass at a  girl when NONE of them were any good to me, gave that guided vision where He then said, "Tell Me what you want from Me", and I said "ten million dollars to build that thing"

Well, He certainly delivered, because, instead of chasing women when NONE of them would mean anything much to me, I got, and am getting, women  who avidly chase me and they are quite good to look at, not pitiful creatures like michelle and nicky?
There was the Glencairn Heights girl who, when she saw me walking on the beach side of the road to Fish-Hoek, waited on the Glencairn Heights side, near the junction, and stood still till I had passed, then she crossed the road behind me, and for some reason, maybe the fact that I tend to be quite nervous around people and do not trust anyone, I turned as she got to myside of the road and looked back at her, and she stood still, and then she put her left leg a bit in front of her right leg  (seductively and defensively on her part)  and she moved her hands up and then down, following her body contours, as if silently asking, "what is wrong with me?" with such a sorrowful expression on her face that I stood amazed,  wondering if the woman was aware that I actually was dressed in no better than rags, with shoes I was ashamed to have michelle see the day after as she waylaid me with her mom and daughter at the beach after I had written the post on 25 May, maybe to yank the chain and remind me just how pathetic I was and how I should be glad she was even ... considering me... as her door-mat.
The girl was good-looking, with an ass rather larger than usual, which she carried off well, with her loose-fitting jeans and those brown fashionable tennis-shoes-like shoes on her feet.They have a name for them, the flat soled things, with the polished leather (or imitation) and she also hadone of those formal shirts or blouses on her, and a bag slung over her shoulder, student-like, and what amazed me was that she turned her back on me and walked away shoulders slumped like she had received a slap on her face, from me.
I was left flabbergasted.

Same day, I meet another golden haired woman, as I sit at Fish-Hoek library, for the first time since butt-head had humiliated me publicly at the place. I was feeling like a piece of shit, and then I see this woman browsing through books at the book-stand across the aisle from me, and she does not even notice me as I stare at her. Frankly she was one of the most beautiful women I have ever met, in fact, to put it bluntly, she IS the most beautiful woman I have ever stood face to face with, and that is exactly what happened, because after asking the book-lady if she had any of the boxing books I had seen before, tow months back when i had been at the library last, and she saying she had none of them, I walked up to the book-stand and started browsing through the books nearest the library door, and the golden haired woman moved towards me, till we stood opposite each other, with a bookstand between us, and she did not even look at me as I drank in her features, down to the two almost invisible ear-rings she had on her exposed left ear.
She kept turning  the pages of this book on birds, and even when I almost rudely stuck my face into hers, so much so that a guy near the exit walked towards me, as if jealous, because it seemed I was about to kiss her, she did not turn a hair, and then I walked away because the library opened.
Lady was after me in a flash and she walked behind me till we sat opposite each other at the terminals, and I look at her face directly and she sort of flashes a grimace at me, as if extremely furious at me, but I ignored her and focused on telling of the first blonde, the one that got michelle to come show me what an asshole I was, someone who should quit dreaming and take waht is spared him
Then as soon as I log off, the lady is after me as I walk to the door and she cuts in front of me, and if I had not stopped and looked at her as she went back to looking up books on some trees and such near the room where The Library fair is held, I would have bumped into her. I take notice of the three-quarter jeans she is wearing and conservative jersey, and the psychedelic jeans that do not hide the thickness of her calves [I love that in a woman!], and then walk away.
The next day, I come even earlier at the library, sit at the seat in the passage next to the driving place by the library, then I get up and walk towards the library, but two people are on the path that passes in front of the driving place's gate, and I wait for them to pass, the keep on waiting because behind them, but about ten metres away, still nearer the photo-house than me, is this white-haired blonde dressed completely in black from neck to feet, with the only coloour being the red lipstick on her.
I prepare to smile my never-mind-me smile, but woman stares at ame in a curious way, as if she is wondering what she has done wrong. Of course I am mentally comparing myself to her, knowing that she is not as worried as I am about turning over at night in case she gets a dose of dust down her neck from the wind blowing at the beach, that she probably lathered herself in soap for a looong time before she got out the tub or shower, and that I MUST NOT stand near people because I may have washed but my clothes are... lived in, and my sneakers are sneakily on their last legs, and I am practically downest on the totem pole when it comes to respectability, right there with the maggots;
And she looks up at me as if seeking approval, and I stare at her black eyes, and continue holding her stare, looking into them,m waiting for this drop-dead gorgeous model type person to do that give-away look; lkook down at my crotch to see if I am mentally salivating over her or look at my hands to see if I was about to seize an opportunity to grab the bangle she wore on her hand.
She does neither. Shge carries on looking me in the eye, searchingly, and I wit for her to pass, and she does so after a moment's hesitation, as if she wants my... consent... to move past.
I am left floored, of course!
Some time later, I am again at the Fish Hoek library, and these two women walk in, both in black, but... fuck, I have mentioned them already, the polite girl and the one that later started hunting me down as I went to and fro the library.
then there are the rest of the ten,
the smiling blue eyed woman,blonde.
the girl with the book "shopaholic girl"
the  red-head at Glencairn Station
the blonde chick from Simonstown I would see on the train at Glencairn, when I and the red-head got on.
Then there is Allison.
Now, today I came even earlier to Simonstown than usual, after sleeping even fewer hours than normal, because I was trying to avoid the aftermath of a late-night argument with Gerry when I ended up pouring water over him as he slept, because I was upset, with cause, with something he had done before I got there.
Anyway, I am hoping that I will finally get to avoid her, and I see neither sign nor hint of her till I am lmost at the Simonstown station. Then, as I walk to pass this white chick that was walking in front of me, and we are abreast almost, the white Toyota comes into view, and the woman turns her head, and shows her... surprise at my "companion", so much so that I almost start laughing and wonder at the same time just what God is playing at !
OK, I agree, the women have all desired me, and all have done so in the conventional way, with, however the added thing that they did not look at the circumstances that surrounded me but rather looked UP to me, unlike the other assholes, who have all assumed that I must first be... something... for them to take me seriously, not knowing that they have already cut it too late, because they do not make the cut as far as I am concerned.
But the women have also taken me as just a man, desirable, yes, but NOT as I am, the person God asks, regardless of who or what stands in opposition, just what I am unhappy about in the set-up.
What I want, whether acceptable or not to everyone else.
So, if  they had had dealings with me as things stand NOW, they would all end up dead, because while they have respected me and shown singular disregard to convention,  they STILL have never SEEN anything even remotely like me.
What I am saying is, I am the total package.
Anyway, not to go there much, I must say this instead.
Obviously, the darkness is not coming here yet, and do you know why? Because there is something I am not happy with.
likethe fact that, even if I start with the
obamadestruction and heating of Alaska, BEFORE the South African destructions of Khayelitsha and Harare, I will STILL have a time between the time when I call all the women... including of course, the English-looking slim chick with her sad eyes... at The Lord Nelson Hotel in Cape Town and the time when people KNOW about me when I will be exposed, and defenseless. I have no solution for that, because I can not just go and then come back for the women, because either way I am going to be in the public view.
Till the day that I get a private place of my own, out of public view, I will turn a blind eye on things, but as soon as I get that place, what will happen is I will kill the two assholes hiding behind women's skirts, regardless of the women's views... I will not put any weight to butt-head's mother's interference; women are and have always been, fools.
And all these other places get destroyed, and then I have things flow my way, yesss!

I am the man with the anger
the one who's got the title...

as the song above goes!


never dis the man with the anger
the one who's got the title ...
the one who sits on high and looks down low