Flashback

God said, "Tell them the source of the cloud that does not bear water"


I am still here, and some time past, when michelle told me to go home, I went and lay in the hut at the beach and asked God idly why I WAS still around, and He answered as above, typically.

So, I will let you first of all know what happened to me in the beginning and then have you deduce the reason why I CAN NOT stand to be used, and thus have you know why all those, like michelle, who tried to do so, will very... shortly... be dead.

It is 2000, and i am just getting to grips with the fact that God happened, and He has already said "Try the falco effect", when I was attempting to solve the Goldbach Conjecture, and insted of being thrilled, I am in a slump.

I begin wondering about God, and I also realise that God is not One to be fobbed off or escaped like people can be escaped from, and so I ask him, plaintively one day, "God, what do You want from me?!!", and he answers instantly, "Be your self", in a calm, collected Voice.

I think He is playing mind games with me, so I try to do what The Bible and Christ say He expects, and go to church and stuff, and even try to live a ... holy... life, and then one Sunday, when  I am in this church called Pentecostal Harvest Ministries, a guy called Kumbirai is the emcee and he says 'Lift up your hands and let God talk to you right now", and i obediently do so, and then, the SAME cool voice tells me, "I have claimed you for Myself".

I clearly recall wanting to throw myself underneath a moving  Peugeot 504 station wagon as i walk around after that.

Because I had always wanted to have no one... expect anything from me, and only wanted to be left alone, but apparently could not have that.

God said HE wanted me for Himself, and so I was curious and also upset as to why He would say THAT, and so, I gave up, on everything, and lived the life of a potato, with a voracious appetite, but no inclination for anything to DO with life.

I went to University, quit, and started life as an apprentice boilermaker, and there, instead of trying to make it in life, i was still so slumped up, and the fact that I aced my tests when i was at the Kwekwe Poly made everyone think I was a genius with a tendency for insubordination, who was always trying to flaunt the rules and do his own thing because he thought he was better than everyone.

I was almost expelled.

it helped for  a while that I stayed with a friend called Ackim, but then even he could not take my lackadaisical approach to life, and he decided to be a border at the Poly, and I was left alone midyear 2003, and THAT was when I began to have indiscriminate sex and just fold completely.

I remember one night, i was about to bed this  sick-looking chick, and a mocking voice told me, as i was about to enter her, not to have skin-to-skin sex, and so what did i do?

I took the words to heart, thought aseriously about it, and then had sex anyway, without any protection.

Late in the year I started having stomach pains , and I gleefully went and got tested, almost did NOT get the results because i said with a straight-face that if i was positive i would jump off the nearest bridge, and then later said the  'acceptable' thing about being careful and hoarding life as a precios thing, and then she told me I was, in fact positive, and I was THAT joyous.

Till I realised it takes about 11 years to die of the disease.

And so, i tried quicker ways, and they all failed spectacularly, till, one day I decided i would take a girl, live with her and anger god and then have HIM come out in the open and kill ME, and imagine my... dismay... when I broke up with the girl, had God tell me one night, "2 Kings 20 :6", and I looked it up, and there, plainly was the text, "I have added fifteen years to your life", and since that was 2006, I realised that if i were to die, I would be 39, and that defied all my expectations, and i put it down to God wanting to stretch things so that I would not die till He had done with me as He wished.

And I had made up my mind from the word go that I WOULD NOT have Him come to me and tell me what to do, or use me to have His glory and such.

Later on, after even more drastic things I tried, I found out that there was real distinction between God and His creation, and that the holy spirit was NOT God, that in effect, God had given me fifteen years , NOT so that I could die, but so that I could take over and have the ONLY thing that would make me live at ease without being used... total control.

THAT is why the people he used, or tried to throw my way to have me stay under his thumb will HAVE to die, as well as anyone who is UNDER his thumb and of... use... to him, like the jews he prophesied his return to.

I mean, fuck, in Ezekiel, he is portrayed as leaving the temple and the city, and it is AFTER that that the land has ... rest for the seventy years God had promised... and WHY?, because the holy spirit is the prime reason why there is unrest on earth.

God goes to the length of having EVERY child being conceived and guarded in the formative months in water, something the holy spirit can NOT penetrate, and still ass-hole cannnot get it that all THAT, as well as the flood in Noah's time, was so that he could not get a foothold on people.

But since God can not force people to take life for themselves, He leaves them to their devices, and they choose everytime which way they will go:- the collective way of 'brotherly love' where the holy spirit rides the crest as pretend-God, or the sole- man way where there is no... unity... among races and peoples, but only ONE man has dominion... only ONE man is lord, and maybe some women who submit to him and desire him.

Before, it was the time of the holy spirit to strive with men, but NOW, NOW, the ONE man is taking over as king.

And since it is written that the people who saw the great light were... "in darkness"... and since from NOW on there will be light, then the people I chose to be mine ONLY qualify, and the rest die.

Any questions?