So, when I went to the library to look for the sequel, and did not find it, but later found book three, " The Wishsong of Shannara", I was all the more ineterested in what happened in book two, which was a complete book on its own, as was every one of them.
When God HAD happened, that was when I finally laid my hands on the book, and it is a sad stroy, of a certain elven woman who is selected to bear a seed of a dying tree that was in place to protect the elves from, of course, the darkness and demons, and of a half elf who loved her only to lose her, as she in fact, became THE tree, and of a woman who went after the half-elf and chose to love someone whose heart was NOT with her, and the incredible thing was that, just as God had happened and it was like an 'aha' moment when I met Him, and it was no REAL surprise at all, so, as i read this book, and came to the conclusion, I just KNEW that this... story... had great personal significance.
And it has been one of those things that have scared me all my life, and while I ... understand... a bit, now, WHY God never said anything directly about my destiny, I am still reeling in shock, because NOW, after it has become ... impossible... for me to live my life the same way, for me to remain as a mere person like everyone else, I have to DO the ONE thing all my life I never thought I would do;- I have to end lives that I would have been proud and glad to protect.
At one time.
Long, long ago.
God, last week, sent me a curve ball by the "Today, if you hear My voice... " message, and while truly, it DID begin with me, because after a little while, I have come to see what He was saying, I am also accepting of the fact that it was more than just for my ears alone.
because, see, I told of how I saw the French girl, the inkfish woman, and how she was alone, and I was almost certain that the guy was now too afraid of me to even come to work, or something, because the woman would almost CERTAINLY have forced him to accompany him, even if she knew it upset me, not because I cared, but because she , like everyone else, is convinced that the statement in the bible, "And God created them, male and female he created them, and He made the equal", is true, even though God Himself was later to say "nevertheless, your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you" and thus put it plainly that the woman wa beneath the woman; still the woman, it appears, was prepared, while forcing her way into my ... private space, to argue about things.
I was determined to kill that woman, because she was despising me in a manner I do not allow anyone to do, ever, and it was for THAT reason that God told me later to NOT harden my heart, because later in the day, she wa on her way home, and instead of going to the junction straight from the palce where she works and getting to the main road, she walked down to the building that has the Olympia bakery and all that, stood by the bottle store, and peered round to see if i was sitting outside the deli, and then she crossed the road, walked up to the pavement and walked home, adjusting the hem of her blouse or top so that her posterior was covered;- meaning she was saying to me that she was 'aware' that I would NOT be able to take my eyes off her.
Admittedly, she looked nice, and I had never really looked at her from that angle, and NEVER had i seen her alone except the once when she wore a dress and chose to walk on the other side of the road, but I was still bitter, and chose to ignore the... silent plea... in her actions, and instead truned my heart to th blonde girl who apparently works at this art place above the deli, because she walked down and away towards, presumably the seafood restaurant or the bakery round the back, and she had stuck something in her back pocket, and as she walked she did not try to smooth her black-and-white-striped top that was all funny behind her, and her walk had the same tense self-consciousness that the inkfish girl had had, which meant that I was under supervision.
Which is why I worte of that girl the following day, and the sexy elderly lady.
But why I say that the statement about hardening the heart was NOT juts for me was because God later added, in a small voice, "sottish children", meaning, of course, that the ... children, that I would... bear... were all behaving like pigs, not making any distinction between what was right and what was wrtong, because to them what mattered most was that they perceived themselves to be... my equals... if NOT my betters.
THAT includea nicky? and the spanish woman, because to them, all this will END when i finally quit trying to make myself into something above them, and settle for ONE woman, who will be my... helper.
Now, since when is an... assistant... the equal of the one she is... assisting?
AND I already HAVE a helper, and, whether you like it or not, I AM GOD, and I AM the Almighty, and in a few days, maybe tow or three, the first thing to happen will be that the 'reason' for obama to come to africa will become non-existant, since africa, everywhere else that is not south africa, everywhere else south of teh sahara, will instantaneously become unlivable, molten rock, and every living thing will die, and I will THEN move out, and close my heart off from everyone else but those that looked up to and treated me as a 'superior' even when i was... despicable... and I will start with those that personally trod on my toes, and I will kill those [watch it osc:- and by the way, I AM coming to S/Town today, why the fuck not?] and then when nineteen of my 21 women have come, I will commandeer a plane and fly to holland AND Germany, to get the remaining two.
Every place that I come to, will spontaneously combust on my departure, and THEN I will have to go... settle... the issue of mr-barack-obama, and after making him vacate alaska for me, i will kill him, and THEN destroy the entire USA, as I leave for my place.
As i said yesterday, there will be no darkness, not any that anyone will feel, because the perpetual day will be in the north, with NOTHING left in the south to know if it is day or night.
Then, I will tackle the holy spirit, mainly on his... equality of male and female... stronghold.
And crush him to the dust.
At the end, wll that remains on the earth will die, and I will carry on with my life, and ...
In the end, there shall be only ONE lord, only ONE dominator, only ONE prince:- ME
