Guess I have been a fool, all along

It only took till this morning for me to grasp how I have wronged my... only Friend, and even gone so far as to publicly call Him a... fool, and all this because I chose not to understand why he treats me... different.

I can not take back everything I have said, because it HAS been said, but I am full of remorse:

Now, I realise why, so long ago, God said, "Government Thor: Cape Flats", not because I have suddenly become explainable to others, but because all along I have been trying to cut myself off from God, Whom I love and Who loves me, and Who decided to take up on Himself the burden of rearing me, the one person who would not even know what to do with himself if He was not there.

I was so used to complaining about what I do NOT have, but I overlooked the fact that if God had not shown up, even from birth, my life would be the most pitiable of all people, and if I were not dead, I would be a shocking sight.

God deserves my praise, not my approbation, and He has upheld me in the most difficult times, and honoured His word, which He gave without being forced, nor did He ever tell me what to do, by commanding me, but everytime, when He could have said, "Do this", He instead goes, "Try this", showing always an interest in emphasising that I always have a choice.

I am a fool, and I have wronged You, Most High.

I am a great fool.