Frankly, if i had to select the women that have made me feel... free... and basically have by-passed the lets-get-to-know-each-other or the fear-me stage, these are the women:-
The dutch girl.
The golden haired woman at the library [25 may Fish hoek]
the snow-haired cleft-chin red-lipstick black clad 26 may chick I stood and waited for to pass, outside the Fish Hoek library
the polite-to-her-mom girl with her shapely ass and nice profile
the other girl on the same day; that is, the girl with the glasses, the attitude and the rough voice, which later all changed
the blonde girl with the red dress
the black haired girl with the nervous smile, on the day of the dog and Xhosa girl
the blonde chick from Simonstown I met on the train at Glencairn I KNEW she would be the last, from the word go, because it does not make sense for there to be anything that can even compare to her... she is the last, the best, take your pick.Everything else has to have come before her.
the mary contrary mother sunglasses, long brown hair, and slippers, and jeans and an expression of flustered frustrattion when she walked behind me into the library. Good looking woman too!
Carol's sister.
OK, I have to explain myself, right?
I will start with the rejects, like, for example, michelle, a slim, short, buck-toothed woman.
She is everything that does NOT turn me on, and apparently, when I met her she picked up on that, because her actions show that she was NOT going to use the direct approach to get to me, since it was certain to be rebuffed, which is why she tried to get me to church, where I would be a bit out of balance, and she could get me to listen to her, and thus attain some kind of... handle... over me.
Well, that did NOT work because I had gone through this with many women, and started to think that to even have what I want was an impossibility, which is when God got involved, see, because i knew where the whole bullshit would end:- me taking out my frustration about the state of affairs on the woman. Which is what I did not like, though she deserved it, because it would mean I have to lie to both her and to myself in order to have the sensation of having my dick knock on some woman's door.
Then there is the friend, nicky?. Fuck, she is pretty, yes, but she is not attractive. In the brief moment I saw her, I recoiled from her, because I knew what she wanted was some kind of... 'relationship'... where I would have to be involved in some talks and such, all the while while I was quite disinterested in the whole process.
fuck, ever heard about
'making love out of nothing', well yes that was it.
makes me want to put ghost's take on that just here;
Why do I say THAT?
because if someone does NOT pass muster with me when I SEE her, then I will never get close to her, see?
I will probably end up killing her because I would have to accept someone I do not even like, nor finding seductive, and if a woman is NOT that, then she is no use to me, yes?
Same goes for nicky?'s mother, who has these things against her, she is small, slim and as attractive as a pole with a flag tied to it.
Her other daughter is more attractive, but I am just saying, see, because I have nothing much against her, except that she is involved in this whole business. NOW she I would like to take to bed, and maybe even spare the worthless lives of her family, and maybe just shoot butt-head in the leg and let him live in a wheelchair, or something... but THAT is wishful thinking. I am most probably going to have to kill the whole lot, see?
Now, to the other women:-
the Glencairn heights girl asked me, practically, what was wrong with her, yes? But then, you see she had already seen that I had rejected her, but i was busy fighting myself all the while because I knew that I had seen that she had thin legs, and I can NOT stand thin legs on a voluptuous woman, or at least one as curvy as she is. the reason is that it shows her whole attitude to life:- she will approach it with the 'i-will-only-deal-with-the-obvious-and-leave-the-rest' mentality, and the things she would leave undone, like her calves, would be the things that would make her, as a whole person, quite easy to be with if she would take herself seriously.
So, I rejected her.
The diving woman was not suitable because she chose to let me see her ass, which is what she thought was her best feature. I hate being led, ESPECIALLY by a woman, because if anyone ever tries to lead me, that person becomes an instant enemy. She would be telling me that I can not use my own senses, and... therefore... I am a fool, and so, there is no possible way to compromise or have that person and me reconcile; we will be at each other's throats till i crush the person.
then there is the girl with the book "Shopaholic Girl". She also tried to direct me, because her face is the kind that women are ashamed to show, which, frankly, is why I have chosen the other black haired girl with her totally black attire who smiled at me when she saw me looking at her.Then tried to find a place to sit, and did not and left.
Then there is Allison, who, when I laid eyes on her, actually had her back to me, and I saw her sexy ass, and legs, and yet when she turned, I saw she had these two bumpy-thingies on her face, either side of her nose, just above her upper lip, and while I did not really react that much to it then, I have grown rather upset with her over the days as she relentlessly showed her face in my face, and the frenzy has made me wonder what is wrong with her, and made me acknowlegde that I would never accept her for trying so hard to make me look at her favourably, and so, well, today, anyway, I decided not to come early, and so spared myself the unpleasantness of having to encounter her again.
The red-head? too slim. i prefer my women with bodies that make me want to kiss and caress them, and bend over and kiss the other lips, and basically get an erection just looking at her.
Now, if you will care to notice; there are three women with daughters in the lineup;-
Carol's sister: well, she has that dark line like a moustache on her upper lip... just a darkness thing... and you know what? I kinda like it that way because .. perfect women stress me. But boy does she have an ass. And a figure... and a daughter.
the mary contrary mother. Tall, well built, and her stomach, while not flat but rather with what they call -- i think -- 'love handles', but I like the overall picture. She is someone I can approach and 'speak' sex, without saying anything.
the blonde with the cabin fever and two phones, one of them a Nokia N73;- she is good all over, but has a sort of funny lip, and I would not have noticed that she was smiling at me looking at her perfect legs till I studied other women and found out that they have some kind of funny way of looking.
thing is, I accepted these women because they did NOT try to hide who they are, but showed it and were not that self conscious about it. So I did not have to go, "so what are you hiding?",before I took them all in.
well, Candice is involved in some DVD scam with her mom, and storing her stuff at the workshop, till she finds 'a place to put it', because the mom says she is the one who intervened so the shop could be made available.Something of a sore point with everyone.
White people!
Anyway, I am being quite... ambivalent... about what to do, because i am thinking about having to kill and crucify people so that the darkness could have some kind of... ummmmph!...[this only applies to South Africa, this ambivalence; obama dies, alaska goes thermal]but the problem actually is like this;- everytime I approach this growing anger thing with an expectant 'Something-will-have-happened-by-Saturday' [I know what I am talking about, it WILL be on a Saturday that it becomes indisputable who the real boss:- fuck we done 'change the game']
and I KNOW that it would be best if people also died here so that they would be busy being terrified and probably close the shops and i would have some place to raid anonymously or something till I have to crucify those assholes, because that is the only way I know of that will get michelle permanently OFF my back, even in my own mind:- kill her family, and then kill her, see?because if someone does NOT pass muster with me when I SEE her, then I will never get close to her, see?
I will probably end up killing her because I would have to accept someone I do not even like, nor finding seductive, and if a woman is NOT that, then she is no use to me, yes?
Same goes for nicky?'s mother, who has these things against her, she is small, slim and as attractive as a pole with a flag tied to it.
Her other daughter is more attractive, but I am just saying, see, because I have nothing much against her, except that she is involved in this whole business. NOW she I would like to take to bed, and maybe even spare the worthless lives of her family, and maybe just shoot butt-head in the leg and let him live in a wheelchair, or something... but THAT is wishful thinking. I am most probably going to have to kill the whole lot, see?
Now, to the other women:-
the Glencairn heights girl asked me, practically, what was wrong with her, yes? But then, you see she had already seen that I had rejected her, but i was busy fighting myself all the while because I knew that I had seen that she had thin legs, and I can NOT stand thin legs on a voluptuous woman, or at least one as curvy as she is. the reason is that it shows her whole attitude to life:- she will approach it with the 'i-will-only-deal-with-the-obvious-and-leave-the-rest' mentality, and the things she would leave undone, like her calves, would be the things that would make her, as a whole person, quite easy to be with if she would take herself seriously.
So, I rejected her.
The diving woman was not suitable because she chose to let me see her ass, which is what she thought was her best feature. I hate being led, ESPECIALLY by a woman, because if anyone ever tries to lead me, that person becomes an instant enemy. She would be telling me that I can not use my own senses, and... therefore... I am a fool, and so, there is no possible way to compromise or have that person and me reconcile; we will be at each other's throats till i crush the person.
then there is the girl with the book "Shopaholic Girl". She also tried to direct me, because her face is the kind that women are ashamed to show, which, frankly, is why I have chosen the other black haired girl with her totally black attire who smiled at me when she saw me looking at her.Then tried to find a place to sit, and did not and left.
Then there is Allison, who, when I laid eyes on her, actually had her back to me, and I saw her sexy ass, and legs, and yet when she turned, I saw she had these two bumpy-thingies on her face, either side of her nose, just above her upper lip, and while I did not really react that much to it then, I have grown rather upset with her over the days as she relentlessly showed her face in my face, and the frenzy has made me wonder what is wrong with her, and made me acknowlegde that I would never accept her for trying so hard to make me look at her favourably, and so, well, today, anyway, I decided not to come early, and so spared myself the unpleasantness of having to encounter her again.
The red-head? too slim. i prefer my women with bodies that make me want to kiss and caress them, and bend over and kiss the other lips, and basically get an erection just looking at her.
Now, if you will care to notice; there are three women with daughters in the lineup;-
Carol's sister: well, she has that dark line like a moustache on her upper lip... just a darkness thing... and you know what? I kinda like it that way because .. perfect women stress me. But boy does she have an ass. And a figure... and a daughter.
the mary contrary mother. Tall, well built, and her stomach, while not flat but rather with what they call -- i think -- 'love handles', but I like the overall picture. She is someone I can approach and 'speak' sex, without saying anything.
the blonde with the cabin fever and two phones, one of them a Nokia N73;- she is good all over, but has a sort of funny lip, and I would not have noticed that she was smiling at me looking at her perfect legs till I studied other women and found out that they have some kind of funny way of looking.
thing is, I accepted these women because they did NOT try to hide who they are, but showed it and were not that self conscious about it. So I did not have to go, "so what are you hiding?",before I took them all in.
well, Candice is involved in some DVD scam with her mom, and storing her stuff at the workshop, till she finds 'a place to put it', because the mom says she is the one who intervened so the shop could be made available.Something of a sore point with everyone.
White people!
Anyway, I am being quite... ambivalent... about what to do, because i am thinking about having to kill and crucify people so that the darkness could have some kind of... ummmmph!...[this only applies to South Africa, this ambivalence; obama dies, alaska goes thermal]but the problem actually is like this;- everytime I approach this growing anger thing with an expectant 'Something-will-have-happened-by-Saturday' [I know what I am talking about, it WILL be on a Saturday that it becomes indisputable who the real boss:- fuck we done 'change the game']
Nothing personal, its just that I happen to hate the bitch a lot. A LOT!
So, that is the deal. I am looking to having to kill people that I am not really interested in, OR I just have darkness here, get the ten women to me and have the people around here accept that I am the cause of all that, and have them evacuate the lord nelson hotel...?
Yes, that is NOT something that is likely to happen, is it?
I will have to kill Xhosas in order to get my point across, and then kill those fools and then isolate Simonstown, and make things horrendous for EVERYONE, and so break people into doing as I want, see?
I have no reason NOT to. I would like one. or several, because frankly, I am getting fed up with the wait.
I found out that it is in ME to be so angry that women would really tremble before me, and even grown men would freeze, and kids get so terrified they kneel and go like statues. Imagine if I ... perfected THAT and became what I am and so destroyed your whole lives simply because I SAID so?
Do you want to find out, because I think you all do. You all think that somehow God will intervene and make your lives better, or i will go away and leave you all alone.
no such last-minute-reprieve.
Whatever you all expected, will NOT happen because... I say so.
