I had finished writing up my post, and knowing that I had no need to rush out of the library since I would not likely meet either the personn who owed me money or the person who promised business before lunch, I decided to chill, take a book and read, and as I settled on one on myth, about a wizard knight, called, eh, "Wizard Knight"; I was pretty much soon lost to the world as I forgot for a while what I realise has been the backbone of my life, the bitterness that makes every day a burden, and so I never noticed when she sat down.
I looked up after some sixty pages or so, and she was sitting across from me by the shelf where the returned books are stored, and she was busy on her phone, and at the same time pushing back her hair after a few moments, and though her head was bowed, she seemed to be smiling, maybe enjoying herself.
Then she looked up, and our eyes met and she smiled for real at me, and it was something that struck my heart,and i could not help smiling back in return, because it was indeed a heart warming smile, and it took me a while to notice something that was ... awry.She was in the library, and had nothing to do with books, apparently, and when I almost did what i had told myself never to do, and that is talk to her, and thus spoil things since I would have to lie to her and invent stories which had nothing to do with the truth, she did not look up again but after a while, finished what she was doing with her phone, took out a pencil case, and took out some banknotes and the walked out, without a backward glance at me.
and I had drunk her in, and liked what I saw.
A girl, with one of those faces that are hard to take in at first glance, a face that is not .. usual...like an artist's masterpiece that is neither classical nor ... conventional, but nevertheless captivates the eye, and is pleasing and soothing and is made more so by the sweet smile that came from those eyes as well as the lips, and when I looked at the ring that was on her right hand [why i do not know?] I knew that, despite the fact that she was way too young to even be... married and the fact that she was NOT wearing it at the right hand, that is the left, and she was sitting there, right there, as if to do nothing more than get my attention; I felt some of my unhappiness that I have to think my future dependent on women that were either married and thought it their mission in life to harrass me and show up everywhere and beguile me with their attention-seeking... ease.
I realised right there and then that I think the ONLY type of women that I would 'bear' are girls, because with them I would have less of the angst and unhappiness that women who have known how to draw men on their finger and try to do what every woman soon learns to be second nature has down to a perfect art; -put a man down and so, I decided to... restructure the whole shebang.
the women that HAVE sought me out, have done so, and I stand by them, all 20 of them, and the one girl, verana, the German chick.
but here, I think I will say that I have the seem seema girl and the girl with the ring and long forenails, and, MAYBE, the girl whose mother wanted my thinking re-arranged at st-peters. Which SHOULD mean that I have two chicks left, right?
only, I do not think so, because, see, there are these two girls in kalk bay, one with this impossible red hair (who stays in the one-way, that runs down to the olympia cafe) , and nice figure AND one with what I can only call a very... sharp... face, meaning she seems very.. acute... and so, of course i wonder just what she, or they could see in me, and they apparently ARE friends, which should bother me, right?, only I do not give a fuck since it is my eye that is pleased here.
I must say that I am fed up with the wait, and that I was thinking, all along, that I needed a place to go to, and hide for a while, while everything happened and people started dying, but i guess the thing is I could never have put myself under someone's power since that would have left me with no relief.Unless, of course, the girl whose mother wanted my head sorted by good old-fashioned jesus H. christ IS a virgin, and then the fifteen seconds thing does not work, which means I would be back to looking for woman number 15, right?
someone who, like God said, has her own place. And maybe a special reason for wanting me to be with her BEFORE I get REALLY pissed off and start taking people's heads out of their sockets...!
someone who feels that time for pretending is over, and has decided to face the music and my displeasure?
I looked up after some sixty pages or so, and she was sitting across from me by the shelf where the returned books are stored, and she was busy on her phone, and at the same time pushing back her hair after a few moments, and though her head was bowed, she seemed to be smiling, maybe enjoying herself.
Then she looked up, and our eyes met and she smiled for real at me, and it was something that struck my heart,and i could not help smiling back in return, because it was indeed a heart warming smile, and it took me a while to notice something that was ... awry.She was in the library, and had nothing to do with books, apparently, and when I almost did what i had told myself never to do, and that is talk to her, and thus spoil things since I would have to lie to her and invent stories which had nothing to do with the truth, she did not look up again but after a while, finished what she was doing with her phone, took out a pencil case, and took out some banknotes and the walked out, without a backward glance at me.
and I had drunk her in, and liked what I saw.
A girl, with one of those faces that are hard to take in at first glance, a face that is not .. usual...like an artist's masterpiece that is neither classical nor ... conventional, but nevertheless captivates the eye, and is pleasing and soothing and is made more so by the sweet smile that came from those eyes as well as the lips, and when I looked at the ring that was on her right hand [why i do not know?] I knew that, despite the fact that she was way too young to even be... married and the fact that she was NOT wearing it at the right hand, that is the left, and she was sitting there, right there, as if to do nothing more than get my attention; I felt some of my unhappiness that I have to think my future dependent on women that were either married and thought it their mission in life to harrass me and show up everywhere and beguile me with their attention-seeking... ease.
I realised right there and then that I think the ONLY type of women that I would 'bear' are girls, because with them I would have less of the angst and unhappiness that women who have known how to draw men on their finger and try to do what every woman soon learns to be second nature has down to a perfect art; -put a man down and so, I decided to... restructure the whole shebang.
the women that HAVE sought me out, have done so, and I stand by them, all 20 of them, and the one girl, verana, the German chick.
but here, I think I will say that I have the seem seema girl and the girl with the ring and long forenails, and, MAYBE, the girl whose mother wanted my thinking re-arranged at st-peters. Which SHOULD mean that I have two chicks left, right?
only, I do not think so, because, see, there are these two girls in kalk bay, one with this impossible red hair (who stays in the one-way, that runs down to the olympia cafe) , and nice figure AND one with what I can only call a very... sharp... face, meaning she seems very.. acute... and so, of course i wonder just what she, or they could see in me, and they apparently ARE friends, which should bother me, right?, only I do not give a fuck since it is my eye that is pleased here.
I must say that I am fed up with the wait, and that I was thinking, all along, that I needed a place to go to, and hide for a while, while everything happened and people started dying, but i guess the thing is I could never have put myself under someone's power since that would have left me with no relief.Unless, of course, the girl whose mother wanted my head sorted by good old-fashioned jesus H. christ IS a virgin, and then the fifteen seconds thing does not work, which means I would be back to looking for woman number 15, right?
someone who, like God said, has her own place. And maybe a special reason for wanting me to be with her BEFORE I get REALLY pissed off and start taking people's heads out of their sockets...!
someone who feels that time for pretending is over, and has decided to face the music and my displeasure?
times were hard than they are today
but if you dont work then you wont get paid
many obstacles come along the way
overcome youths, overcome.
Anyway, I also just noticed this one thing:- the world cutting would by no means cut away the jews as i would have thought, which does not mean that i am willing to change things so i get rid of israel all at once, no, I suppose i am going to go with the original plan because i am also curious to see whether God will ever draw the line with me as far as His people are concerned, and so, of course, I am going to enjoy the spice of the challenge, when it gets to a showdown as to just how much God will back up his word that I, and I alone, matter to Him, more than anything else.
Of course, i am going to push the envelope, but not force His hand. No, I want it all to flow as I grow, and grow... see?
See that line that is just above the southern border of the US? Well, to preserve my... domain intact, I will have to go lower than that, which means that i will have to spare the israelites, mostly, and when I say I, that is exactly what i mean;- GOD will not do this, but ME, when I release the other hitherto silent part of me that was responsible 30 years ago for the El-Nino weather effect, yeah, that was my protest, see, about rights to life, and so, I am doing it all now on a grander scale.
i am the KING who has spent his whole life trying to be something I am not because of fear, like mandela said, we fear, that we may be greater than we think, and I am MUCH , MUCH greater than I think I am, because God would not have taken an advisory role in my life, He would be doing things for me, and all that, but NO, he does NOTHING for me. As He answered when I asked Him why He covered christ and took him from being too much under people, He said, "I reveal much", meaning if I had never been exposed, I would never have known what I am.
And I am whichever way you look at it, the WORST thing you all thought would never happen, and I am for real.
this is NOT a movie where the bad guy makes a mistake and ends up losing the war and his evil schemes foiled. THIS is something that will start out bad, and carry on getting worse, and will not end even when you seek sleep. Awake or asleep, it will be bad-going-worse, and more so, till you all KNOW that 'as bad as it gets' is the worst understatement you ever heard.
thought God would have to compel me to agree with Him so that you would have my... intent...averted?
fuck, what does God Himself say when he obliquely refers to the future:-
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is... given. Of the INCREASE of his government there shall be no end. He shall be called... The AlMighty God, so, fuck, it is happening, and here I am, something you thought had no rights, right michelle, butt-head et.al? Send him back home indeed! Fuck, you are so dead!
but if you dont work then you wont get paid
many obstacles come along the way
overcome youths, overcome.
I remember when i was walking up the street with the nicole kidman look-alike in tow, I was singing:
them nuh real McCoy/them just some baby boy/them are talk me nuh have time fir chat boy/ gun inna me hand prepare fir shot boy yo!
Well, I have learned to listen to my own talk when i am NOT speaking, and i was busy letting out that these people that seemed to have something on me were just pretenders, not the real McCoy, and i was fed up. As I said, I am full of bitterness, and VERY unhappy, so, of course, when you DO see it, do not be surprised at the outpouring of what is the hottest heat you all will ever see.
because it is the last thing you all will see on the planet, but by no means the end of your worries.
them nuh real McCoy/them just some baby boy/them are talk me nuh have time fir chat boy/ gun inna me hand prepare fir shot boy yo!
Well, I have learned to listen to my own talk when i am NOT speaking, and i was busy letting out that these people that seemed to have something on me were just pretenders, not the real McCoy, and i was fed up. As I said, I am full of bitterness, and VERY unhappy, so, of course, when you DO see it, do not be surprised at the outpouring of what is the hottest heat you all will ever see.
because it is the last thing you all will see on the planet, but by no means the end of your worries.
Anyway, I also just noticed this one thing:- the world cutting would by no means cut away the jews as i would have thought, which does not mean that i am willing to change things so i get rid of israel all at once, no, I suppose i am going to go with the original plan because i am also curious to see whether God will ever draw the line with me as far as His people are concerned, and so, of course, I am going to enjoy the spice of the challenge, when it gets to a showdown as to just how much God will back up his word that I, and I alone, matter to Him, more than anything else.
Of course, i am going to push the envelope, but not force His hand. No, I want it all to flow as I grow, and grow... see?
i am the KING who has spent his whole life trying to be something I am not because of fear, like mandela said, we fear, that we may be greater than we think, and I am MUCH , MUCH greater than I think I am, because God would not have taken an advisory role in my life, He would be doing things for me, and all that, but NO, he does NOTHING for me. As He answered when I asked Him why He covered christ and took him from being too much under people, He said, "I reveal much", meaning if I had never been exposed, I would never have known what I am.
And I am whichever way you look at it, the WORST thing you all thought would never happen, and I am for real.
this is NOT a movie where the bad guy makes a mistake and ends up losing the war and his evil schemes foiled. THIS is something that will start out bad, and carry on getting worse, and will not end even when you seek sleep. Awake or asleep, it will be bad-going-worse, and more so, till you all KNOW that 'as bad as it gets' is the worst understatement you ever heard.
thought God would have to compel me to agree with Him so that you would have my... intent...averted?
fuck, what does God Himself say when he obliquely refers to the future:-
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is... given. Of the INCREASE of his government there shall be no end. He shall be called... The AlMighty God, so, fuck, it is happening, and here I am, something you thought had no rights, right michelle, butt-head et.al? Send him back home indeed! Fuck, you are so dead!
