In case one may not have actually taken it in, i would advise one to go back to the earlier post "Flashback" and really get to grips with the one inescapable fact of how I do things... and how God allows me to get away with literal murder...;- I REALLY do not do anyone any favours... at all![ wow, just discovered that the Soimonstwon library computers allow the translitaration into Greek, os here is the delta thing I was talking about:-δ]
Not even God.
Now, I have , to put it bluntly, laid many people at death's door, and quite cynically judged them and carelessly used them, and, as i mentioned earlier, I felt no remorse, and do not regret a single bad thing i have done, because all that has been helping me plumb the depths as far as God's intent towards me is concerned.
And, as I also mentioned earlier, when I complained to God that He was fostering a girl on me that I hated and He replied with the... Isaiah text, and how HIS yoke is easy and His burden is light and how MY yoke is as an academic to the fish... THAT went against my expectations of His ... expectations.
Now, I am the kind of guy who has... used every woman I have had since the beginning, and ditched them when I lost interest in them, ESPECIALLY when the woman, now comfortable, would start making claims on me about why I ought to do certain things for her because she and I are involved, and I have always laughed and slipped off the noose, and walked away.
Apparently, the ONLY type of woman who can survive with me is the type who decides for herself she wants to be with me, so that when I consider the thing of how she is around, I leave her alone because she chose to be there, and I do not have to work to have her there.
PUT it baldly:- I am incapable of ... LOVING... anyone, because everyone more or less annoys me.
The reason why there was a negotiation of the ten million dollars... as well as the September 18 Independence day thing... is simply because if I were to start going after a woman, I go AFTER her, in every sense of the word, and she will end up dead or close.
Which is why ten women ended up making their choices plain, and getting me to sort of accept having them around... and seek to have then with me.
Now, as to why I am yet to have darkness descend, I'm still working on that:- I have a theory that everything flows from a particular decision I will make, and hey, this is NOT the first time i have been wrong about what God meant when He said something, and as i journey on, it certainly will NOT be the last.
only thing I can bank on is; I CAN NOT stay any longer in South Africa; I have family, fathers, sisters and cousins, baying at my heels to have some sort of communication [fuck that francis who gave my cousin a contact number!] and reconciliation, and so, I NEED to escape, permanently, because I will NOT keep on doing THIS!
And I abso-fucking-lutely AINT going back to my parents, or chatting with them, till I do so as the overlord of everything, and i look down from lofty places and ask them what the fuck they have to say!
Another thing is, I have NOT killied anyone... in cold blood, and I want to, not because I think it will change me, but because I never accept limits, see?
If I have NOT broken everyone of the ten commandments, and thus put the issue of to WHO God was speaking to rest, I will always wonder, and I hate wondering, because in my reeticnet walk, I am discovering myself, and also MY personal limits.
like, I will not have anything to do with coloured women or black women because the latter are depressed, the former have dirty tongues, and both have inferiority complexes, which overshadow how they would look to me because they would only really look up to a white man, and I would hate having limitations set on me in THAT regard.
Or, that i will actually kill the guys who have made me mad, like sam, butt-head, faggot-face, and this moto mia guy because when it boils down to it, it is about pride; even if the fools are NOT worth it, there will always be a question of whether or not I am full of hot air or I can actually do it.
So, ergo, i will do it, and feel nothing when I do so.
I am not DEAD inside, no, I am just NOT interested in the rights and wrongs as others who want to live in harmony are.
I am like the wounded lion, who may be licking his wound when he is alone, but let a jackal think he .. or she... can bring him down and out come the claws.
So, as a matter of pride, I HAVE to kill certain people, because I NEVER back down from a challenge, and will pursue it to the end.
AS SOMEONE USED TO ALWAYS SAY WHEN HE PRESENTED HIS BIBLE TEACHINGS... and as I paraphrase;-
IT IS NOT OVER TILL I WIN
So, nothing to worry about:- just as I promised obama that i will send him to hell, I HAVE to do it, and I HAVE to go to ALASKA, and I HAVE to get there without a passport, and I HAVE to have the darkness descend, and I HAVE to destroy the Vatican... and maybe leave the ONLY european country as Holland, if the Dutch girl is still there, if they do not let me have my way and compel the pope to resume office so I can kill him, or trade his life... these Europeans... for all of theirs.
Just as I have to kill the Xhosas in Khayelitsha and Harare and all the people in Capricorn and all those other places I promised... not because EVERYONE there pisses me off, but because I put myself a challenge, and I have to do it, or be branded a liar.
And I have to destroy the holy spirit, after destroying all his background advantage, like the jews, the christians, and their... spiritual homeland.
BUT what I will NEVER do is to compel a woman to be with me:- it is never worth it.
NO one, except maybe the kids, who are too young to make up their minds for themselves; will EVER walk over MY threshold who has not made up her mind that she will desire me and submit to me of her own free will, because I will NEVER allow anyone near me that thinks she is there because she had no choice in the matter.
No free walks!
And none of that trash like michelle.
because I always remember, and frankly, michele is the first person I would want to kill, if she ever made the mistake of thinking I would ever open my arms to her!
try me, please!
Not even God.
Now, I have , to put it bluntly, laid many people at death's door, and quite cynically judged them and carelessly used them, and, as i mentioned earlier, I felt no remorse, and do not regret a single bad thing i have done, because all that has been helping me plumb the depths as far as God's intent towards me is concerned.
And, as I also mentioned earlier, when I complained to God that He was fostering a girl on me that I hated and He replied with the... Isaiah text, and how HIS yoke is easy and His burden is light and how MY yoke is as an academic to the fish... THAT went against my expectations of His ... expectations.
Now, I am the kind of guy who has... used every woman I have had since the beginning, and ditched them when I lost interest in them, ESPECIALLY when the woman, now comfortable, would start making claims on me about why I ought to do certain things for her because she and I are involved, and I have always laughed and slipped off the noose, and walked away.
Apparently, the ONLY type of woman who can survive with me is the type who decides for herself she wants to be with me, so that when I consider the thing of how she is around, I leave her alone because she chose to be there, and I do not have to work to have her there.
PUT it baldly:- I am incapable of ... LOVING... anyone, because everyone more or less annoys me.
The reason why there was a negotiation of the ten million dollars... as well as the September 18 Independence day thing... is simply because if I were to start going after a woman, I go AFTER her, in every sense of the word, and she will end up dead or close.
Which is why ten women ended up making their choices plain, and getting me to sort of accept having them around... and seek to have then with me.
Now, as to why I am yet to have darkness descend, I'm still working on that:- I have a theory that everything flows from a particular decision I will make, and hey, this is NOT the first time i have been wrong about what God meant when He said something, and as i journey on, it certainly will NOT be the last.
only thing I can bank on is; I CAN NOT stay any longer in South Africa; I have family, fathers, sisters and cousins, baying at my heels to have some sort of communication [fuck that francis who gave my cousin a contact number!] and reconciliation, and so, I NEED to escape, permanently, because I will NOT keep on doing THIS!
And I abso-fucking-lutely AINT going back to my parents, or chatting with them, till I do so as the overlord of everything, and i look down from lofty places and ask them what the fuck they have to say!
Another thing is, I have NOT killied anyone... in cold blood, and I want to, not because I think it will change me, but because I never accept limits, see?
If I have NOT broken everyone of the ten commandments, and thus put the issue of to WHO God was speaking to rest, I will always wonder, and I hate wondering, because in my reeticnet walk, I am discovering myself, and also MY personal limits.
like, I will not have anything to do with coloured women or black women because the latter are depressed, the former have dirty tongues, and both have inferiority complexes, which overshadow how they would look to me because they would only really look up to a white man, and I would hate having limitations set on me in THAT regard.
Or, that i will actually kill the guys who have made me mad, like sam, butt-head, faggot-face, and this moto mia guy because when it boils down to it, it is about pride; even if the fools are NOT worth it, there will always be a question of whether or not I am full of hot air or I can actually do it.
So, ergo, i will do it, and feel nothing when I do so.
I am not DEAD inside, no, I am just NOT interested in the rights and wrongs as others who want to live in harmony are.
I am like the wounded lion, who may be licking his wound when he is alone, but let a jackal think he .. or she... can bring him down and out come the claws.
So, as a matter of pride, I HAVE to kill certain people, because I NEVER back down from a challenge, and will pursue it to the end.
AS SOMEONE USED TO ALWAYS SAY WHEN HE PRESENTED HIS BIBLE TEACHINGS... and as I paraphrase;-
IT IS NOT OVER TILL I WIN
So, nothing to worry about:- just as I promised obama that i will send him to hell, I HAVE to do it, and I HAVE to go to ALASKA, and I HAVE to get there without a passport, and I HAVE to have the darkness descend, and I HAVE to destroy the Vatican... and maybe leave the ONLY european country as Holland, if the Dutch girl is still there, if they do not let me have my way and compel the pope to resume office so I can kill him, or trade his life... these Europeans... for all of theirs.
Just as I have to kill the Xhosas in Khayelitsha and Harare and all the people in Capricorn and all those other places I promised... not because EVERYONE there pisses me off, but because I put myself a challenge, and I have to do it, or be branded a liar.
And I have to destroy the holy spirit, after destroying all his background advantage, like the jews, the christians, and their... spiritual homeland.
BUT what I will NEVER do is to compel a woman to be with me:- it is never worth it.
NO one, except maybe the kids, who are too young to make up their minds for themselves; will EVER walk over MY threshold who has not made up her mind that she will desire me and submit to me of her own free will, because I will NEVER allow anyone near me that thinks she is there because she had no choice in the matter.
No free walks!
And none of that trash like michelle.
because I always remember, and frankly, michele is the first person I would want to kill, if she ever made the mistake of thinking I would ever open my arms to her!
try me, please!
